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SPIKE September 2001
Please note it has not been possible to copy over the many photographs that adorned the original CONTENTS View From the Bench ........................................... 2. You have a new editor!! Well hot dog! The Rascals are going to war .............................. 3. Today Billericay - tomorrow, the world!! Keen & Green on the Leeds Scene ..................... 5. Sue Douglas on the area cup performances Essex Meetings coming near you ....................... 7. Members encouraged to attend more meetings: Ken Edwards Readers Lives ....................................................... 8. See what the rest of the Essex contingent are up to Do you have what it takes to be a Rascal ........... 9. Prozac the recruitment officer? Treating the common court injury ..................... 11. So, what do you do when someone goes over on an ankle. RICE holds the key EVA News Update ............................................... 13. More from the EVA: Ken Edwards Hit Big!.................................................................. 14. ..and learn how to leave dents in the ground! Whitfield Volleyball Tournament ........................ 15. Claire Sparrow on one of the best tourneys around
More crap from your editor!
Give something back to volleyball they said. Make an impact into the Essex Volleyball Association, so I hope the existing committee will forgive me for taking perhaps the easiest post available. Truth is, I’ve always enjoyed this sort of thing and have patiently bided my time til the position became free again. My thanks must go out to my predecessor, Sparra’ aka Claire Sparrow who has done an admirable job in keeping this quarterly mag going, despite returning to university. Unfortunately, the toll of a new job and assisting in the construction of the EVA Handbook means that the baton has been passed on once more. Well, the worst they can do is sack me! By the time this reaches you, the summer events will be largely over and the 2001/02 season beckons. Still, we can relive those carefree days of volleyball in the sunshine through your tales. Please forward all articles/reports to myself via my email: elvie@cluttons.com. Submissions by post should be directed to: 91 St. Michaels Close, Aveley, Essex RM15 4SY VIEW FROM THE BENCH! And so to the league. Can newly promoted Highwoods cut it in the 1st div? Early signs from the Summer League seem to say so. Will the Wildthings hold on to that top spot or will Tendring go that one step further?? And what of the return of Essex Uni?? If memory serves me correct, they have always been a dangerous team........ if only they could last a whole season!! I still think that the Rascals can spoil the party with their own archaic brew of atrocious passing, huge
hitting, appalling consistency and senseless optimism. Sadly, we say good-bye to 2nd Div
HM Customs but welcome the return of The Romford ‘Wildcards’. See you on court Elvie (Spike editor) -2-
THE RASCALS ARE GOING TO WAR And so to the games. Eight in all throughout the day in four various situations. Three of the games were attack and defend scenarios and you played them in both those roles and the other two games were just kill anything that moves. You get 100 paintballs free with your first game and they are £7.00 per 100 thereafter. Out in the forest you have all the natural cover in the world, but Skirmish have provided bridges to bring down, the ‘Alamo’ to conquer and the ‘chicken run’. Our first game up was a pretty tentative affair, people getting used to the equipment, people getting used to the fact that it’s been the wettest six months since the year dot and you are going to get muddy whatever you do. Trigger had the right idea. Found the first big puddle he could and fell in! The Marshall’s informed us that we should all point and laugh at him – which we did with pleasure. Spraying paint around like Andy Warhol on acid So, like I was saying, into the first game and things started slowly for us……..except for Prozac. Being his typical gung ho, trigger happy, if it moves shoot it, ex territorial army, ‘I’ve been on manoeuvres and played with the big guns’ (dread to think) attitude. Spraying paint around like Andy Warhol on acid, managed to get through his first hundred balls in about five minutes. It’s at this point that you realise that it could be a very expensive day but personally I only had to buy another 300 balls throughout the day, which is a smidge over £20. Didn’t seem too bad. Unfortunately, being the only casualty of the day (casualty of war?? – where’s mi purple heart?) slipping on mud and going over on an ankle, I didn’t get to play all the games but didn’t mean I had to sit out on the fun and managed to hobble around doing the full ‘Platoon’ bit and just defend for the rest of the day. I stress again. Good footwear is necessary and not three year old trainers with bugger all tread! A slow start for us was gradually being turned round and we won three of the next four games (and lost the second chicken run by about 20 seconds) and it was all square as we came to the last game. We’d been playing against the same team all day and were figuring them out.
Head shots are discouraged and won’t count but it doesn’t stop people doing them Shame then that unless you kill all of your opponents in the last game it is called a draw coz they had three people left at the final whistle and we had about seven. Another couple of minutes and we would’ve done it. Claire looking for all the world like ‘Cammo Teletubbie’, kindly stayed back to defend with me. Foolishly, she commented that she hadn’t been shot that much all day and didn’t really think it hurt much at all. Imagine my surprise then when she asked me to shoot her in the back so, adopting the lady knows best attitude, I let her get about 10 yards in front of me and…….I shot her in the arse!!! Sorry Claire, I’m just not that good a shot. It had been a really good day and we would certainly do another one, but make no mistake – If you get shot at short range it is going to hurt. Head shots are discouraged and don’t count but it doesn’t stop people doing them. The eventual winners were in fact one of the other teams out of the four of us but Prozac did pick up an award for being the most heroic or entertaining or something. Well deserved you nutcase. If anyone is interested, the Skirmish details are www.skirmish.co.uk or you can contact them on 01277 657777. Words: Elvie -3-4- KEEN AND GREEN ON THE LEEDS SCENE words: Sue Douglas, Brentwood Ladies Well here I am again. Elv has twisted my arm for a report from the Area cup weekend in Leeds. Now, I don’t think I am qualified to file an accurate blow by blow account of all the matches, but what I can do is let you share my own experiences of the weekend and how we got on. Well it all starts early on with training on Wednesdays, for players to try and get in the squad, working hard to try and catch Warren, the coaches eye and if that fails, working hard to buy him a drink in the bar afterwards! Ten of us managed to do just that and get selected for the women’s squad, the squad consisted of Lisa, Lee, Lucy, Farge, Lana, Louise, Lesley, Tania, Rachel and me, Sue (the old one with Grey hair). So grabbing our stylish red Essex T shirts off we went to give it some wellie. We all arrived at different times on Friday, and yes I did go the wrong way down the M1 heading south for a whole junction but hey, I was only the driver, I blame the navigator! The manager
of the five star Budapest Hotel met us with a friendly smile and a happy manner, which he
managed to maintain for the whole weekend, not! (And Lorraine, get your feet off the
chairs). The TV in the bar was bigger than the bar itself, but all in all the prices were
reasonable and the weekend had begun. SATURDAY. The whole area squad, men’s and women’s, made it down before eight which I think deserves a trophy on its own, so with breakfast over we were off to the sports hall to give it our all for Essex! Now, apparently we could have followed the men’s area team to the sports hall, but trusting our satellite navigation equipment and Warren, we formed a convoy and set off for the five-minute drive. OK, so 20 minutes later and the registration time quickly disappearing into the distance, we were yet to arrive. Still, Leeds city centre was pretty, and we all had time to practice our three point turns en route. In the end we parked at the nearest big building we could find and sent Warren off on a search and register mission, while we made the most of the fifteen minute walk to the sports hall and called it our warm-up for the first game! At last, Essex had arrived. Now like I said I can’t really give you a blow for blow account of each match or even who all the teams were, but my overall view of all the games is as follows: There were a lot of Yorkshire teams - East, West, North, etc. An Oxford, a Maidenhead, a Manchester, a purple team, a green team and so on. Overall we won one whole game and a couple of sets, and drew some games. Not bad for a mixed team of ages, ability and experience. This was brought about by some memorable moments from everyone. I think we can all say that at some stage in the weekend, we all played some good volleyball, had touches of great volleyball, and also some moments of dodgy volleyball! This is how we all did. We had Farge who blocked two fierce shots and scored one ace, Lee who executed some great hits and blocks, Lisa who kept the team smiling and was consistent and calm in her play, Lucy who found out she could block after all, and decided to do just that, Rachel who hit some great shots, not bad considering she’s smaller than me, I just did what I normally do and ran around like a loony and I’m not tall! Lana, who played through the middle, even though she wasn’t that comfortable in that position but picked up some great digs, Louise who covered the court well, and played better than I’ve seen her play in a long time. There was Leslie and Tania, one game for Leslie stands out, when she was everywhere and back again, digging and picking up everything!. Tania played a blinder in one game coming on as a sub and picking up in the middle so well that we came from behind to win and me well, I just did what I normally do and ran round like a loony trying to do the right thing. One of the best sets was against Oxford, who at that stage had won all there games, we were 9-2 up and scaring them and surprising ourselves. We lost in the end but it was close. By then we had discovered that we could all play as a team and actually scare a couple of teams along the way. Great fun. We played most of the games in the morning then had a four hour break. The weather was fantastically hot and sunny - just right for an indoor tournament, so Essex went and did what they were good at and had a doss on the grass. Well you know how water and sunny days go together, so there was the obligatory water fight. Louise ended up being so hot that she needed to be put in the ornamental fountain to cool off, so the team helped out and did just that, now how did that song go afterwards " Super Lou’s got wet knickers!". We had one more game that day and the first day’s play was over, we decided to
follow the Area men back to the team hotel (good move). The County squad were a lot later
finishing than us, so it was up to the Area squad to storm the local Chinese. Off we went
to get a table, ordered for England and ended up with enough food to feed a small country.
After we finished, some players returned to the hotel bar and some went off to the student
union Met bar. Now I had said I wasn’t going clubbing, but by now I felt responsible
for the youngsters Farge and co, and felt I should keep an eye on them, you know being a
mum and everything! So we ended up drinking and dancing and drinking and dancing and
drinking and....... well you get the picture. After we finished having a boogie we all
headed back to the hotel, some in a cab and some in Tony’s car. Off to bed about
3.30am making sure that we all didn’t have too much to drink and a good night’s
sleep ready for the next day’s volleyball........not! SUNDAY Up again on Sunday, not so quick or as enthusiastic as Saturday, but we all made it (miracle!). The Area and County squads were all at the same venue this time. The Area lads shouted and supported us which was fantastic. We did the same for them but couldn’t quite reach the same decibel level! All too soon the weekend was over, we had come about sixth although in the scheme of things the end result was not that important - what was important was the way the volleyball was played and the atmosphere that surrounded the whole weekend. In my short time as a volleyball player, I have seen lots of sportsmanship, this was again proved at All too common these days, some teams feel that they have to resort to gamesmanship to end up in a final Leeds. It was nice to be surrounded by teams that were practicing only this approach to volleyball. All too common these days, some teams feel that they have to resort to gamesmanship to end up in a final or obtain any sort of meaningful result which, in my opinion, then ceases to be a meaningful result at all. To end this report I would like to thank Warren for giving up his time and a chance to play because he coached the ladies Area team, I would also like to thank all the other girls in the team for putting up with an oldie, and not laughing at me too much when I went clubbing! Thanks also to the Area lads, who we shared the hotel the venue and good time with, and
Ash I’ll rub your bruise better next time I see you! To all the other players from
Essex who made up the County squad thanks for a great weekend, well done to everybody that
represented Essex and did their best. And for anyone thinking of giving it a try next year
my advice is go for it! I had a great time and I am off to bribe Warren so hopefully I can
see you all there in 2002. -6- ESSEX MEETINGS COMING NEAR YOU In an attempt to improve the communications with all Essex volleyballers, the Essex VA
committee are planning to move their meetings around the county so that there will be at
least one within travelling distance of every volleyballers during the year. The first 30
minutes will be set aside for a general chat about the game and what is going on in Essex
and what you want to be happening in the county and wider. As Essex committee members are well connected at Regional and National level this is a good chance to have your voice heard. We hope that as many of you will take the opportunity to attend as possible and will also stay on to hear what is said during the meetings running your Association. Perhaps some of you will find this an opportunity to get involved although this is not the prime reason for going on the road. The current schedule of meetings is: Date Start Time Location (exact venue to be advised) Tuesday 11 Sep2001 7.30 pm Brentwood Centre Thursday 15 Nov 2001 8.00 pm Tendring Tuesday 11 Dec 2001 7.30 pm Harlow Thursday 7 Feb 2002 7.30 pm Colchester Tuesday 12 Mar 2002 7.30 pm Romford Thursday 5 Apr 2002 7.30 pm Rochford/Southend Thursday 9 May 2002 7.30 pm Brentwood Two requests please. If you live in the area and know of a venue please let me know. If you want to come along, also please let me know. Ken Edwards (Acting Secretary, Essex Volleyball Asociation) 2 Vale End, Galleywood,
Chelmsford, Essex, CM2 8NZ Tel 01245-474425 ken.edwards@volleyball.co.uk READERS LIVES Yes, this issue we bring you Ian Cladingboel. The Cladman or ‘Santa’ to his
friends has been at Romford since day one after formerly being part of Harlow VC. He has
graced our club for the past 7 years with his attacking volleys to pos. 1 and he is most
renowned for his tiny hoard of devilish offspring, namely Joe, Jake, Callum and Connor.
Wife, Jackie, continues to put up with his on-court antics even though he spends most of
his time on the bench!! This is what he had to say Biggest mistake as a child: setting my dads garage alight trying to make homemade fireworks Have you met all of your childhood dreams: No - would love to learn how to play volleyball Occupation: Global Implementation Manager Could you bore people senseless at a dinner table: Yes and do on a regular basis Worst Habit: Picking my nose and farting What music would we find in your car: Travis, bob the builder and the lion, witch and the wardrobe Name your top five albums: Dark side of the moon - Pink Floyd, Sing when your winning -Robbie Williams, Parachutes – Cold Play, Wish you were here -Pink Floyd, Number 1’s - Beatles If you had to give a young relative a piece of advice, what would it be: Don’t get married, don’t get a mortgage and don’t have kids! Unfulfilled dreams?: Anything that involves sleeping You’re in a train compartment approaching a tunnel with Jeremy Clarkson, Paxman and Beadle. Absolutely sure you could get away with it, which one would you hit: Paxman (everyone else would be hitting Beadle and I would get back on the next day and take out Clarkson) What would you be doing if you wasn’t a volleyballer: Enjoying myself! -8- Do You Have What It Takes To Be A Rascal? Not quite sure who made Chris ‘Prozac’ Harbour the Rascals recruitment officer but try his quick test and see if you really can cut it in the barmiest (is that a word??) club in Essex! Q1: You’re off to a tournament. What is your journey likely to involve? B) Scoffing packed lunch and swearing at the following cars from the back of a coach. C) A carefree drive along the scenic country route listening to radio two. D) Racing other teammates to the campsite breaking every traffic law known to man, whilst either in a car verbally abusing each other with walkie-talkies and half the local off-licence in the boot. Q2: You go out to a pub with your team. What are you likely to be doing? A) Getting Hammered. B) Trying to convince the barman that you’re 18 with a fake driving licence. C) Discussing next seasons budget over a jug of bitter. D) Sitting around a table with your thumb on any horizontal surface, drinking with your left hand and sporadically standing up, gyrating your pelvis and drunkenly shouting something about being someones daddy. Q3: The tournament is now underway. Your team perform a call after a time-out, what is it’s content? A) Some amusing chant drunkenly composed in the pub last night. B) Something along the lines of ‘Go Team Go!’ C) A traditional call which one of your team learned during his national league ‘glory days’ in the 60’s. D) A musical comparison of a certain teammate’s genitalia to malodorous dairy produce. -9- Q4: A social slap-up at the local curry house! What will the festivities involve? A) Suicidal attempts at consuming the hottest concoction in the place having downed several pints and signed a disclaimer. B) Actually you’ve opted for a MacDonald’s happy meal. C) Ordering from the ‘English Menu’ and justifying the existence of Omelette & Chips on every menu in the world to the waiter D) Smuggling half the restaurant’s furniture and decoration out under your jacket before being attacked by a knife-wielding kebab vendor who seems to have objected to your witty attempt to push over his trailer Q5: Back at the campsite, how do you unwind before retiring? A) A drunken game of late night volleyball on one of the courts followed by a game of cards with whoever’s still up. B) Ghost stories over milk & cookies with whoever isn’t sleeping at home. C) Cup of tea from the thermos and a hot water bottle. D) Same as ‘A’ except you and your team are all completely naked. Q6: Needing to get up early to register your team? How do you ensure you wake up in time? A) Yeah, right! I’m hungover! Some other mug can get up! B) Mummy/Teacher waking you up at 9:30 for breakfast. C) Alarm clock set for 8:00, but not really needed since you’ve been getting up at 7:30 for forty years. D) Annoying, compulsive, hyperactive idiot with far too much energy jumping around the campsite at 6:30am, squirting everyone’s tents with his super-soaker and screaming for everyone to get up and play with him. How Did You Do? Mostly A’s - Typical hard-core volleyballer, will fit right in at most Essex teams. Mostly B’s - You must be from St. Edwards, Redden Court or Tendring U16s. Mostly C’s - You’re part of the veterans league, dreaming of when you once held your own against the youngsters Mostly D’s - Congratulations fellow Rascal! next tournament, heh heh heh!) -10- It seems to me that, if you club is anything like mine then the common court injury
is met more with morbid curiosity rather than actual, genuine concern. Upon a fall, the
recipient will generally scream out aloud and collapse into a mess on the ground. This is
then followed by cheers, jeers, a lot of finger pointing and finally a few frowned faces
followed by the inevitable ‘ere, are you alright mate’? If the person in
question is still reeling from the pain then it is at this point that heads will dart from
side to side, looking to anyone who did that day with St. Johns Ambulance ten years ago
while still in sixth form or to anyone with an inkling of what to do. Inevitably,
we’ll just end up calling the paramedics, carry the poor soul off court and carry on
with the game. RICE For many of you, RICE should come as no surprise but to the uninitiated, it stands for Rest, Ice, Compression, Elevation. The industry standard response of most injuries to the sportsperson. Naturally, the severity of the incident should be ascertained first but assuming the individual has suffered a Knee/Wrist/Ankle injury (and lets face it, it’s normally one of these things), then these simple steps can help alleviate even quite serious injuries. REST The next 48 hours after an injury are crucial as your first concern now is to keep the swelling to a minimum. This can be achieved if you treat the area with a cold compress and rest up. To the everyday sportsperson, this is undesirable as surely fitness will suffer as a result of being out of action. Well, the average sportsperson would have to be laid up for about a fortnight before any noticeable drop in fitness is present and, depending on the injury, a halfway house can be reached. Certainly the damaged area will require total rest for at least the first day or two but other exercises may still be performed in order to hang on to that all important fitness level. Only once you have a reasonable range of motion in the damaged area should you be considering a rehab program. This may start with something as simple as mobility exercises to help regain full range of motion, progressing to a gradual loading on the injured area until a return to full strength is achieved ICE Not always available, is it? Your local sports centre may be able to provide one of those ice packs in a bag (these rely on a chemical reaction to go cold) but personally, I don’t think they become cold enough and lose their properties fairly quickly. A better alternative is a bucket full of cold water. If you’ve really come prepared then I don’t think you can beat the refreezable gel packs -11- (ideally from an outdoor standpipe). Lets face it - if it’s good enough for the premiership League with their ‘magic’ sponge then why not A soaked towel can then be wrapped around the affected area and re-dipped into the bucket of water and prove to be far more effective. Yes, Okay, you get a bit wet but it’s a small price to pay really isn’t it? If you’ve really come prepared then I don’t think you can beat the re-freezable gel packs. Stay cold for ages and they’ll last the away game if you keep it in a cool bag. They’ll contour to the area too. Just be careful with ice burns. Ideally, the gel pack should be covered with a thin, damp towel or similar. the whole idea of ice treatment is to reduce the swelling to the area Finally, you can always use the bag of frozen peas. Good size, reusable and convenient to purchase although I’m not keen on peas and prefer sweetcorn!! (whaddya mean you’re not supposed to eat them after??) Anyway, the whole idea of ice treatment is to reduce the swelling to the area by constricting the blood vessels and so helping the injured area to maintain mobility. The cold compress should only be used for 10-15 minutes at a time, then repeated every couple of hours during the first 12 hours. Try not to leave the compress on the injured area for longer than those 15 minutes. The body’s own natural reflex will be to open up the blood vessels again to bring fresh blood to the area as it thinks the tissues are in danger. COMPRESSION Unfortunately, swelling is almost inevitable with any injury but with rest and ice, the swelling should have been kept to a minimum making the job of compression easier There are a number of products on the market that can be successfully used. I’ve found the best form to be those elasticated bandages that you can double back over an affected area. Not as clumsy as, say, a crepe bandage (which virtually disintegrate after a couple of washes) and hold a good, even pressure. It would also be possible to slip a pad over the more damaged area to give a bit more localized support. If you have no choice but to use the elasticated/crepe bandage then it’s best to work from the extremity of the injury back towards the heart, each turn overlapping the previous by about half the width. Try to maintain an even pressure throughout without winding them on too tight. This could actually interfere with circulation rather than helping it! ELEVATION Okay, so you’re in the sports hall on the sideline, flat on your back with your foot in the air and yes, it does look silly but even gravity is a useful aid to reduce swelling. The injured area should be held above the heart if elevation is to play any part in this as the blood flow away from the injured area is increased. Damaged hands/wrist/fingers should be held up or at least resting on the opposite shoulder and ankle injuries can be placed onto a chair or someone’s shoulder (kneeling in front of you while you’re flat on your back). Even the foot of your bed inclined slightly on blocks may help alleviate the swelling throughout the course of the night. So, there you are. Four simple steps that we can all take to help our recovery period should we be unfortunate enough to sustain an injury. Performed correctly over the first 48 hours, you’ll be doing yourself a big favour by limiting the injury at the earliest opportunity Words: Elvie Romford Rascals -12- Received from the English Volleyball Association As County Secretary I receive regular bumf from the EVA. As this is Essex VA property it is available to any interested party. Recently received were: * English Volleyball Association Strategic Plan 2002-2006 – Attacking the
Future. Based on extensive discussion with local groups. Covers participation goals adults and youth, high performance, beach, refs, coaches, competitions, marketing and equity as well as business management. Worth a read. I am sure EVA would send you a copy so try 0115 945 5429 or General@eng-volleyball.demon.co.uk
* Membership renewals August 2001. * Guernsey Tournament Application Form. * EVA News Update August 2001. Ken Edwards (Acting Secretary, Essex Volleyball Association) 2 Vale End, Galleywood, Chelmsford, Essex, CM2 8NZ Tel 01245-474425 ken.edwards@volleyball.co.uk -13- HIT BIG! Nothing is more fun than hitting a volleyball with a smoke trail behind it. Hitting
hard is like dunking a While we’re not all blessed with the physical prowess of a George Roumain or Hector Soto, there are a few techniques that will enable you to stroke the ball harder. One of the things I recomment to my USC hitters is to hit more. That might sound simple. But hitting involves a small and complex group of muscles, requiring a delicate balance of timing and control. At USC, like many other programs, we play an inordinate amount of deep court hitting games. Few players come into the season with their arms in shape. Improvement should be measured in weeks. Proper mechanics are an important part of adding fuel to your firepower. Have you seen a tennis match? Watch tennis players serve, and you’ll notice that right-handed players have their left arm fully extended before they hit. The left arm is fully extended to help coil their torso to deliver maximum torque at contact. Here’s one of the true secrets of the sport: The longer you can keep your "off" arm up, the harder you’ll hit. Go to a wall and practice keeping your "off" arm extended until you can come around on the ball. Another example of this concept is the motion of a baseball pitcher. Notice how pitchers wind up for delivery. Same idea. Another way to increase your power is to broad jump into the set. Teaching this concept to young players is difficult. They tend to get under the ball and jump straight up for the kill. I can give you three reasons why you want to avoid getting under the set: • Loss of power. By getting under the ball you shorten the hitting arc, resulting in reduced power. • The tendency to hit down into the block, or worse, into the net. If you find yourself under a set, adjust by top-spinning the ball deeper than you normally would. • Loss of peripheral vision. This is most important. When you stay behind the ball, you gain a wider view of what is in front of you - the net, the court, the block, etc. The ability to see the block and change your hit in mid-swing is what separates the good hitters from the great. Remember, by staying behind the ball and using your left arm as a power source you can hit harder. It might not get you a tryout for the Olympic team, but you’ll look great in warm-ups! -14- Bath Tournament Words: Claire Sparrow, Brentwood Ladies Do you remember back towards the end of July, all that glorious weather with the sun bearing down so hot, that the temperature was over 90 degrees on several occasions? Wouldn’t it be great to play in an outdoor volleyball tournament during weather like that? Well the Bath tournament alas, was held just before that fantastic weather began. This was the 28th year of the Bath tournament, an indoor/outdoor feast of volleyball,
held surprisingly in Bath (on the Bath rugby ground in fact). Such is the magnitude of the
tournament, it attracts not just the best teams from England and Wales, but also from the
continent, represented this year by teams from Iceland, Belgium, Sweden and the Czech
Republic. There is a premier indoor division where the top male and female players strut
their stuff, and for the rest of us, an outdoor tournament played at various different
levels, whether you want to play men’s, women’s or mixed. This is a notoriously difficult tournament to get into; we had entered three teams only managing to scrape into the national league standard mixed division one, as first reserves. Also representing Essex were Romford Rascals, some of the Southend Custom’s guys playing for a Custom’s team, and a menagerie of other Brentwood players who sought out other teams in need of spare players on the Saturday morning. Brentwood travelled down to the tournament in spits and spats throughout the Friday, in somewhat inclement weather; it was sunny when we left Essex, but seriously overcast and then wet by the time we reached Somerset. I had travelled down with John Pennock and Emma Surma early in the day so we had time to park up and savour the delights of Bath before pitching our tents; the old buildings, the heritage of the place and the Cadbury’s Café! Then it was back to the rugby ground. Luckily, it wasn’t raining at this time and we managed to put up our easy fixed pole tents up within minutes. The next couple of hours were spent chatting to our neighbouring campers and trying to secure space for our incoming teammates, as the heavens opened again. After what seemed like an age, Messieurs Clark and Bartlett turned up. By now it was, well raining quite hard to say the least! Unfortunately, our incoming teammates did not possess such easy tents to put up… Getting rather wet in the process, we managed to throw their tents together under the relative umbrella of the bar overhang before running out into the pouring rain to pitch them in our secured space. Eventually, we made it, a little damp, up into the bar for some well earned refreshment. The rest of the Brentwood faithful had the sense to turn up at around 21:00, by which time it had stopped raining again, so we were at least able to put their tents up in the dry before heading back to the bar to contemplate the next day’s play. Slowly, sleepy looking faces emerged from the various tents in ‘our circle’ After a somewhat unsettled night’s sleep (think loud Scotsmen, giggling females
and caw-cawing seagulls spaced out throughout the night and early morning) meant that I
gave up on getting any more sleep at around 06:30 and got up to go for a wander. Already
overcast, this did not bode well for topping up our tans during the day. Slowly, sleepy
looking faces emerged from the various tents in ‘our circle’ and we were soon
able to register our team and our additional players who would end up playing for other
teams. -15- However, a poor rotation and a burst of heavy, non-stop rain saw Ooh claw back our lead and although we still won the set, it was only to about 22 or 23 when it should have been so much easier. We took this new found confidence through to the second set and won again This meant that they had the momentum, something that they capitalised on at the start of the second set, reaching around 8 or 9 before we registered our first point. In the end, they stormed the set, with us reaching only around 8 points, their very tall middle man seemingly everywhere our attack was and our defence nowhere to be seen. The third set was to 15 and although we were close all the way, they were always a point or two ahead of us and in the end they won the third set to 13 and claimed the game. We now knew that we had to win our final game against another tough side who were in
the same position as us, needing to win to guarantee that we went through to Sunday’s
semi-finals as one of the top two sides in our respective pool. With the pressure on, we
started off a little sluggishly again, allowing them to match us point for point up to
around 15. A good serving run however, saw us pull away a little and we managed to claim
the set and claw back a little of our lost confidence. We took this new found confidence
through to the second set and won again to go through to Sunday’s semi finals as the
second placed team in our respective pool of five. With our job well done and our other players also having done well with their respective teams, we headed off for a well deserved evening out, ending up, along with half the other volleyball population it seems, at the local Pizza Hut. Following a feast of salads and pizza, it was back to the bar where we watched and joined in with a menagerie of games, set by the multi-tournament stalwarts, the Spikeopaths, and sunk a drink or two in the process. After a great evening, we trailed back to our tents at around 02:00, tired but happy and looking forward to the next day. (It had finally stopped raining, which heightened this enthusiasm no end!) After a lay in until 08:30, we rose to discover we weren’t on court until the third game. In crossovers, we were to play the top placed team from the other pool. With the rain blown away overnight and the better weather that was to come in the following weeks threatening to rear its welcome head, we wandered around watching the other players in their respective teams and looked inside to see the top quality play that was occurring there. Eventually we got back on court and started well. Playing a team we knew had to be good because they had topped the other pool, we knew it wouldn’t be easy, but bit-by-bit, we edged ahead. We won two games to nil to take our place in the final in the rapidly warming weather. Looking over at the adjacent court, we then saw our nemesis from yesterday; Ooh winning their match too and we knew that the final was going to be a tough one, but a chance to exact some welcome revenge. With the first set under out belts, our confidence was sky high After a further prolonged wait, we made it onto the court in brilliant sunshine. With the knowledge that they had beaten us on the Saturday but also that we knew we could beat them if we kept our heads and avoided the man mountain in the middle, we started well. As with the previous day, we stretched into a hefty lead in the first set thanks to some good serving runs. However, unlike yesterday, we didn’t allow them to come back at us this time, winning the set with them still in the teens. With the first set under out belts, our confidence was sky high going into the second. We stumbled a little when one of the opposition’s women turned her ankle. A lengthy time off court while she was replaced saw us restart and lose several points on the trot. However, we regained our nerve, played our own game and in the end, proved too strong for them, winning the second set, the final and the title of mixed division one champions, 2001. With our other players also having done well, we rounded off a great weekend by venturing indoors to watch a little of the premier finals before accepting our trophies, a great end to what had been a fantastic weekend. -16- ELVIE’S EYE ON THE WORLD Well, actually, somebody else’s eye on the world that they have then emailed to me, but it makes good reading all the same and it’s all in the name of humour (and filling up column inches in this rag!!). This little gem comes courtesy of our American cousins and really requires a degree of imagination to truly appreciate this act of stupidity. Next issue: the delights of the Darwin Awards! The Arizona Highway Patrol came upon a pile of smouldering metal embedded into the side of a cliff rising above the road at the apex of a curve. The wreckage resembled the site of an airplane crash, but was, in fact. a car. The type of car was unidentifiable at the scene. The lab finally figured out what it was and what had happened. It seems that a guy had somehow acquired a JATO unit (Jet Assisted Take Off - actually a solid fuel rocket) that is used to give heavy military transport planes and an extra "push" for taking off from short airfields. He had driven his Chevy Impala out into the desert and found a long, straight stretch of road. Then he attached the JATO unit to his car, jumped in, got up some speed and lit it up! The facts as best as could be determined are that the operator of the 1967 Impala hit the JATO ignition at a distance of approximately 3.0 miles from the crash site. This was determined by the prominent scorched and melted asphalt at that location. The JATO, if operating properly, would have reached maximum thrust within 5 seconds, causing the Chevy to reach speeds well in excess of 350 miles per hour and continuing full power for an additional 20-25 seconds. The driver, soon to be pilot, most likely would have experienced G-forces usually reserved for dog-fighting F14 jocks under full afterburners, basically causing him to become insignificant for the remainder of the event. However, the automobile remained on the straight highway for about 2.5 miles (15-20) seconds before the driver applied and completely melted the brakes, blowing the tires and leaving thick rubber marks on the road surface, then becoming airborne for an additional 1.4 miles and impacting the cliff face at a height of 125 feet leaving a blackened crater 3 feet deep in the rock. Most of the driver’s remains were not recoverable; however, small fragments of bone, teeth and hair were extracted from the crater and fingernail and bone shards were removed from a piece of debris believed to be a portion of the steering wheel. -17- CONTRIBUTORS Very, many thanks to all those who took the time to contribute this quarter. They include: Sue Douglas, KenEdwards, Claire Sparrow, Ian Cladingboel, Chris ‘Prozac’ Harbour, Justin Lazarus and finally..... I leave you with the actual email transcription of Ben ‘Jamin’ Wilson for his ‘encouraging’ views towards the direction of this mag. I believe he was speaking on behalf of the Romford teams rather than the whole of Essex, but still.................. Naturally, I’ve had to edit this only slightly but I think he makes himself clear as to where he’s coming from!! elv What a complete and utter load of XXXX! As if you’re going to get anything from this bunch of xxxxxxs other than xxxxx ideas like an ‘ELVIES GOT A CHEESY XXXX’ column. HA xxxxxxng HA! Any hoot, as I feel responsible for putting you in the xxxx in the first place............(and it goes on) ..........Yeah right.......no xxxxin’ help coming from me xxxxa.... Whoaa hahahahahahahahahaha...slag By the way I’ve just got back from swimming (as I do every Tuesday/Thursday now) and guess who I saw in the adults only session?? None other than Scooby himself. How very xxxxxng exciting for me. Anyway I’m sure I’ll be able to help out in some way or another. All the bxxxst...... Jamin-the-slut. P.S. ! NEXT ISSUE: DECEMBER 14TH ARTICLES NO LATER THAN 30TH NOVEMBER. THANK YOU
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