VIEW FROM THE BENCH!

Another season over and thank God (Allah, Buddha, Yoda - delete as applicable) for that. From hereon in it’s lazing in parks, rugby fields, cricket clubs or beaches, drinking whatever, getting a tan, being chased by wasps and watching everyone else hit a ball about....well, that’s my plan anyway. You lot can do what you want.

And in preparation for the coming summer, we at Romford have turned our attention to the beach game. With Essex having a couple of established beach pairs, it would be great to encourage more to take up this particular branch of the sport. This issue we’ve concentrated on the 6 beach shots that kill. All of these techniques I‘ve entirely failed to employ myself as my recent performance in Margate will confirm. Think my beach legs have deserted me......... or perhaps I just wasnt’ trying hard enough. I digress. Needless to say, the beach scene is alive and kicking. Anyway, check out the article shamelessly lifted from volleyballmag.com

At the recent Essex Volleyball Association AGM it was decided that not a lot has changed, very much the same faces doing the same job and very little coming in by way of help from outside or other clubs. How long this situation lasts remains to be seen but mark these words; the existing committee are not going to do this forever. In short we need new blood getting involved within the committee and the Essex League as a whole. See the enclosed article showing how we can all help make the Essex Volleyball scene a better place for all of us (aahhhhhh)

Other news sees the arrival of Brentwood Buzzards to Div 1 along with a second Tendring team, Men’s Div 2 welcomes a new team based in Chadwell Heath and Harlow remain but playing under a new name that has yet to be decided. Sadly, the Tendring U18’s won’t be taking part in the Ladies open division but the rest of the league remains largely the same. It was also noted by Ian Johnston that he was particularly lenient on the arrival of late scoresheets which carry a fine. He would like all competing teams to know that he won’t be so forgiving next time (in your best Darth Vader accent please). The removal of the Essex Handbook on production costs also threw a lot of teams a curveball as all the useful info generally to hand in this no longer seemed available. Rest assured that all the information contained in the handbook is available on the Essex Volleyball League website www.volleyball.co.uk

So that’s my lot as Spike Editor. Hope you’ve enjoyed reading the ramblings of myself and the select few of the goings on in Essex. Many thanks goes out to all who contributed but most notably, Ken Edwards, Prozac, Volleyballmag.com (even though they were probably entirely unaware that their excellent articles were being swiped for this mag! we thank them all the same), ‘’Super’ Sue Douglas and all others who’ve contributed.

The mag was supposed to be a reflection of the goings on in Essex. For the large part that is exactly how it’s been. Lets hope it continues. See you on court.

Elvie

Jumping Drills for juniors...                                                                       4.
... and the seniors and all those in between

6 Little Shots that Kill                                                                                10.
Jim Nicholls on 6 shots that can change you beach game

Bow & Arrow                                                                                                13.
Differing opinions on the arm swing for the spike

Lee dus a runner                                                                                         15.
..and looks towards the land of Oz

Lunatics & Karpol                                                                                        16.
The famous Russian coach launches his autobiography

Your county needs you                                                                              18.
Probably now more than ever. Please read this!

View From the Bench                                                                                   2.
Time to do it all again.

Local League Tables                                                                                      6.
Final standings for 02/03 season and results from Essex Finals Day

Who’d be a Referee                                                                                          7.
More from Dave Reeces website

National League Tables                                                                                  8.
Essex involvement at National League

Readers Lives                                                                                                  14.
Finally, I present the last victim

-3-

Junior Drills for Jumping

Anybody have any good drills/suggestions to teach my 12-14 year old girls how to jump when they’re hitting? We go through drills like hitting a ball out of my hand or even just simple approach drills and swings sans ball and they do ok, but as soon as we introduce game-play atmosphere with a live ball, they revert back to bad habits like raising their hitting hand above their head even before they start their approach. I’ve tried to show them numerous times by my example how important it is too use their arms and reach high with both hands before they swing. Maybe it is too much for them, as inexperienced as they are, to have to concentrate on the ball and think about approach/jumping actions to boot, but it just seems to me that jumping is a natural act that you shouldn’t have to think about.

-4-

‘New sponsor of Brentwood Volleyball Club’

Approved Contractor

National Inspection Council for

Electrical Installation Contracting

G A S I N S T A L L E R

-5-

Essex Finals Day

Rucanor Cup Brentwood Wildthings vs Tendring U18 3 - 0

Handicap Cup Redden Court vs Brentwood Wildthings 3 - 2

Tachikara Plate Brentwood Youth vs Tendring Mixed 3 - 0

Janet Bedford Cup Brentwood Divas vs Brentwood Essex Girls 3 - 0

HO’D BE A REFEREE

More curious volleyball rules from the FIVB Casebook.

At the Women’s Final Olympic Qualification Tournament Korea was playing China. At the score of 8-6 in favor of Korea in second set, the Korean coach asked the second referee if the server was correct. The second referee checked with the scorer and replied that the correct player was ready to serve. The first referee continued the match. Is this the correct process for the Koreans?

The only team member allowed to speak with a referee is the game captain. Thus, the coach is not authorized to speak to the second referee. Rule 5.1.2

In the Top Teams Cup Szeged (HUN) was playing Kakanj (BIH). During the match, the coach of Szeged requested a substitution by pushing the buzzer and giving the proper hand signal for the substitution. This was done slightly after the first referee’s whistle for Szeged to serve. The play stopped. The first referee recognized the situation and rejected the request by slightly waving his hand. Meanwhile, both the incoming and outgoing players went to the correct position in the substitution zone ready to perform the substitution. The first referee urged the Szeged player to serve. At the moment of the service, the second referee blew his whistle and signaled a positional fault on the serving team because there were seven players on the court. After a short discussion between the first and second referees, the first referee signaled the service and point to Kakanj. Was this a correct decision?

This is a typical case of an improper request. The request for substitution should have been denied, Szeged should have been sanctioned with a delay sanction, and the Szeged should have been given a replay on the serve. Concerning the action of the second referee, the second referee has neither the right nor the responsibility to judge the serving team’s positional faults. When the second referee blows his/her whistle in this case, the rally must be replayed.

The front row setter of team A, in an effort to set the ball coming from his receiver, jumped and hit the ball with one hand over the net such that, at the moment of the hit, his fingers are in the opponent’s air space. The ball is not totally in the opponent’s air space. The ball from the setter traveled parallel to the net toward an attacker of team A. The blocker of team B touched the ball before the player of team A, so that the team A player could not execute the attack hit. The first referee whistled a fault on the setter for setting the ball while penetrating into the opponent’s air space. Did the first referee make the correct decision?

According to Rule 10, each team must play the ball from within its own playing area and space. Therefore, since the setter has hit the ball in the opponent’s space, the setter committed a fault. The blocker also committed a fault by touching the ball in the opponent’s space before the attack hit. Only the first fault is penalized. The referee was correct

7 Lorraine Bartlett (Brentwood)
4 Alena Nielson-Gee (Brentwood)
4 Rachel Osborne (Brentwood)

-8-

BEACH VOLLEYBALL GRAND PRIX

2003

2003 Invitation Cups - Now 12 Mens 4 Womens

Team Format

invitationcups@bbvc.beachvolleyball.org.uk

If you feel you should be invited to enter the Invitation Cups but as yet you have not

received an invite, send an email to the above address stating why you should

be invited

2003 Event Dates

28 June Bournemouth Invitation Dup

5/6 July Poole GP

12/13 July WestonGP

19 July Bournemouth Invitation Cup

26/27 July Weymouth Classic

9/10 August Barry Island GP

16/17 August Boscombe GP

Beach volleyball in the UK attracts many good players from around the world, the UK

events are strongly supported by local councils and private sponsors. Spectating is

FREE and at some events grandstands are provided

Here we aim to cover all aspects of beach volleyball in the UK

www.beachvolleyball.org.uk

-9

The Little Shots that Kill

Being a successful offensive player doesn’t always depend on how hard you hit the ball. Like a big-league pitcher who keeps batters off balance, you can frustrate defenses with a variety of differing speeds and locations. Remember, the ball is hard to dig if your opponent can’t touch it! Here are three rules of thumb that I use. Always give your opponent the same look whether you’re hitting or making a shot. If you go half-speed to use a shot, your opponents will see it coming. When the set is in the air during your approach, try to take a look at the opponent’s court. Then look back up at the ball to hit. You don’t have to crush the ball to put it away. The following tips are designed to work with finesse instead of power. My is "Hit for show, shoot for dough!"

Words: Jim Nichols www.volleyballmag.com

THE CUT-BACK AND CHOP-BACK

Here are two shots that defenders never expect. The cut-back and chop-back are essentially the same shot but from different sides. Use these when the blockers have retreated and the set is more towards the middle of the net. The cut-back (above) is executed from the left side (cutting back across your body to the line) and the chop-back (below) from the right side (chopping away from your body back to the line). For both shots, begin to swing as if you’re going to crush the ball. Then change your arm swing, and hit an off-speed shot towards the line with an inside-out trajectory. The ball should drop just past the 10-foot line and about 12 inches from the sideline.

WHEN IN DOUBT, HIT THE DIVORCE MAKER

The divorce maker, or deep middle shot, is the one you can almost always rely on. It’s especially effective when nobody is blocking or the blocker is retreating. Ideally, you should hit this one pretty hard, but it can still be effective if you don’t because the defending partners will have trouble communicating who should go for it. Most defenders don’t position themselves in the deep middle. So if you’re in trouble, go to the "old reliable."

THE SIDE-SPIN PERPLEXOR

This shot is similar to the chop-back, but it’s used by right-handers against a blocker. Convince the defense that you’re going to hit angle by taking an inward approach. Then, at the last second, rotate your wrist and arm away from your body, turning the ball down the line. When you do this, the ball will end up spinning a little more sideways than a typical topspin hit. Hit it with some pace so you can get it by the blocker before he realizes he has been fooled. If you perform the side-spin perplexor correctly, you’ll see the blocker shaking his head in amazement.

THE DEEP LOOPY TEASER

Use this shot when the blocker has pulled off the net and is retreating to the cross-court or the crosscourt digger is playing shallow. Take your normal approach as if you’re going to hit, thereby freezing the defense. Then hit up at the ball, looping it into the deep corner. But don’t give the ball too much arc, or the defense will track it down. It should land just outside the reach of the defender, leaving him tired and demoralized.

THE SUPER DINK

Use the super dink when nobody’s up and you get a tight set. It’s also great when the set is tight and low and you can’t take a full swing. My old partner, beach legend John Carman, was the best I ever saw at the super dink. The trick is to let your knuckles cushion the ball rather than poking up at it. Use your knuckles almost like an indoor player would use his fingertips on a dink. Just drop it gently over the net for the kill.

THE TAP DOWN

The tap-down is great to use when the blocker is up and the set’s tight. The bigger the blocker, the better it works. Take a half swing, but don’t follow through. Aim for the outside of the block, hit the ball low to the net, and try to squeak it by the blocker’s elbow. Ideally, the ball will either make it by the block and land in or bounce off the arm of the blocker and go out of bounds. But always be ready to cover yourself. If you get blocked, it should be easy to cover because you’ll have hit it softly. Remember not to hit the ball so it lands out if the blocker doesn’t touch it. In other words, never aim to miss the court. The tap-down will turn an otherwise tough situation to your advantage.

-12-

BOW & ARROW OR ELBOW BACK

I have heard two different (opposing) versions of the correct arm swing for an attacker. Both versions came from respectable sources.

Version #1 Bow and arrow pose (similar to serving) with a limp wrist.

Version #2 Elbow back no further than shoulder with forearm extended up and wrist straight. He specifically denounced the method described above, said it led to hitting the ball on the way down. What is the current accepted thinking on the arm swing? Please give me your source if it more than just your opinion.

Dan

Todd Haverkos

There are three benefits of bow and arrow - the first is that the starting position of the hand is further back than in Version 2 which means there is greater opportunity to accelerate the hand (like fishing rod the further back you start, the further you cast). The loose wrist increases the hand speed at contact further - a bit like the snap of a whip. The second reason is that the middle finger, wrist, and elbow travel through a straight-line to have a hitting point directly above the hitting shoulder following through to the thigh. This line improves hitting accuracy and consistency and increases the transfer of power by minimising unwanted lateral movement of the arm. The third is that in bow an arrow power is generated by pulling through the stomach muscles - the hit is a whole body action rather than just hitting with the shoulder or the rotation of the torso. See the finishing positions of the hitters to see the effect of this "whole body action".

But for some players, bow and arrow is difficult to use, particularly if they are successful using a different technique and it may not be worth the risk of changing their hit. The problem with players hitting the ball on the way down is a timing problem with their jump and not really to do with the arm action being used, although it may occur where the technique is being changed as the player has too much to think about and so is more likely to suffer from mistiming.

As a related point on hitting, I’ve been watching the footwork of some power hitters and have noticed that a common feature is the final step is about 10-12cm (6 inches) in front of the penultimate step (although still a two footed take off), rather than the conventional side by side technique. This appears to allow them to bring more forward momentum into the hit. Is this something anyone else uses or has noticed?

I have been teaching the bow and arrow pose for 6 or 7 years and doing arm swing training (high reps on a box) during this time. My only concern is that the Long Beach State was so convinced that it was the wrong way (specifically denounced it in the video) that I wanted to confirm that I am teaching the right thing. The rest of his video was very good at breaking down all the steps and teaching the attack and you can’t argue with his results.

-13-

Biggest mistake as a child: Hmm, so many to choose from. I think I’ll go with the first time I almost killed myself, at the tender age of one!. One fine sunny day in the pleasant little cul-de-sac where I grew up, there was a problem with the drains that required the street to be dug up and the sewers below exposed. Following the latest of many of my escapes from the house, little me evidently thought it would be a jape to go and play in the newly discovered rat-infested filth. After what my long suffering mother later described as ‘a frantic hour of searching that was becoming an all too familiar occurrence’, my half-drowned, stinking body was hauled out of the sewer by a workman who rather unhelpfully inquired of my desperate parents "Is this yours?" As if an hour crawling/swimming in a subterranean maze of sewage deeper than I was tall wasn’t enough, I was later rushed to intensive care having succumbed to the cocktail of nasty viruses I was exposed to, where I spent several days in and out of consciousness, losing around a third of my body weight and casting serious doubts on the likelihood of seeing the ripe old age of two. Still, all in a days work for Baby Prozac!

Have you met all of your childhood dreams: I didn’t really have any serious ambitions as a child. I was too busy enjoying childhood, which I intend to continue to do until I die.  My childhood dreams were either impossible things like being a dinosaur, or simpler things like finding out if I could parachute from the roof of my house using a towel, which were usually done immediately (man, my parents went through hell!)

Occupation: Well, I’m now a professionally qualified personal trainer, nutritional adviser and sports massage therapist amongst many other fitness related things. Oh, did I mention terminally unemployed?

-14-

Could you bore people senseless at a dinner table: Sure, just ask me about all my potentially fatal childhood experiences. Although if we were in a restaurant, I’d be too busy looking for ‘trophies’.

Worst Habit: Restaurant kleptomania springs to mind.

What music would we find in your car: Oh, that I could afford a car! Well, back in my pre-uni days my old car was filled with movie soundtracks. I’d always come out of the cinema thinking ‘good soundtrack’, then I’d go and buy it. Life was so simple when I had money.

Name your top five albums:
Aerosmith: Big Ones,
Puddle of Mudd: Come Clean,
Nickelback: Silver Side Up,
Red Hot Chili Peppers: Californication,
& any of Guns ‘N’ Roses.

If you had to give a young relative a piece of advice, what would it be:

I’d come along right after another relative had just told the kid not to do something so stupid and tell them "Do It! Hell, I’ll do it too!" I lost count long ago of all the stupid things I’ve done, and nobody ever really got hurt. But if I’d have listened to all the nagging relatives telling me not to do these things all the time, what kind of person would I have grown up to be? Life’s most valuable lessons are best learnt through near-death experience! ENJOY CHILDHOOD FOREVER!!!

Unfulfilled dreams?:

Just the ones along the lines of getting married and having kids. Most of my other dreams tend to get done soon after dreaming them. Maybe that’s why I’m such a happy person.

You’re in a train compartment approaching a tunnel with Jeremy Clarkson, Paxman and Beadle. Absolutely sure you could get away with it, which one would you hit:
Beadle

What would you be doing if you weren’t a volleyballer:

Rock climbing! Love it!

Lee is off to the Land of OZ

Having been involved in volleyball in Essex for nearly 12 years, and only ever written one
article for SPIKE, I decided to go out with a bang and write three for one issue! (see
‘SEEVIC Boys take Bronze at the Nationals’ & ‘Havering and SEEVIC in the Mixed Final’).
This one is to say goodbye to everyone that I have come across over the years. For those of you who don’t know me I started playing late in life – well, around 30 having already had my family. I’ve played local league for Anglia, Comets and SEEVIC, National League for Chelmsford, and taken part in both Essex and Area tournaments, as well as the all important Brentwood summer league. More recently I may have been seen surrounded by youths – both male and female – in the role of coach as volleyball continues to increase in popularity at college.

Enough waffle – I’m leaving! We are resigning, selling up and moving to sunny Sydney – hopefully in August. We don’t have jobs or a house as yet (minor details!) but I am sure it will all sort itself out in time! I have enjoyed being part of volleyball in Essex, and hopefully fed some new young players into one or two clubs (unfortunately these all seem to be at Uni’s miles away – but they may come back!!). I hope that volleyball continues at SEEVIC

There may be a position as coach – anyone interested in surrounding themselves with young, agile, sporty 16 – 19 years olds a couple of hours a week, and on a Thursday evening for fixtures. Paid too!! They learn quickly (good job because after you have spent 2 years teaching them to play – they bugger off!)

Thanks to coaches, refs, opposition, organisers etc etc and Goodbye, So long, See Ya G’Day

Lee Gradon

-15-

LUNATICS - THAT’SWHAT I NEED!

by Nikolaj Karpol

I’m not sure if everyone knows who Nikolai Karpol is, he is about the only non UK coach I can name, however others will know him from his court side antics on TV, particularly his aggressive and verbal dressing down of players at timeouts. I have several tapes of his Russian Ladies team, where his shouting is so loud and violent toward the players, that the TV commentators don’t know what to say to their audiences. I was therefore most interested in his autobiography, to find out what makes this coach tick and more importantly, why do his players put up with these out bursts.

Without giving to much of the book away, Nikolai Karpol’s coaching career starts in Russia during the sixties, turned his club professional in the early 1970’s. Running and operating a club in a socialist environment, is quite different to running a club in the West, the book explains his experiences and the tactics he employs, to try and give his girls the upper hand. He make the connection between team spirit and success, sets ups his own social and welfare structure for the girls, all of which is in stark contrast to the public image you get from his visual out bursts.

A fascinating book and one which I’m happy to recommend to our readers.

Dave Reece

Paperback, 129 Pages, 22 B&W pictures.

It’s published in Croatia, cost approximately 11 pounds (17 Euros) and is available on-line from www.nikolaikarpol.com and delivery took about three days

One of the most charismatic volleyball coaches, twice Olympic champion (1980, 1988) and twice Olympic silver medalist (1992, 2000), world champion in 1990 and three times bronze medallist (1994, 1998, 2002), three times Grand Prix winner (1997, 1999, 2002), eight times European champion (1977, 1979, 1989, 1991, 1993, 1997, 1999 & 2001). Ten time European Champion’s cup (1981, 1982, 1983, 1987, 1989, 1990, 1991, 1994, 1995 & 1998), the European Cup winners’ cup 1986, Thirteen Soviet Union Championships and ten times championships of independent Russia. Elected Coach of the year by the FIVB in 1989 and 1991.

Russian Nikolai Karpol, after more than twenty years of silence decided to present himself to the audience in the almost total disclosure book titled "Lunatics - That’s What I Need", the sweetest candy for his colleagues, players, managers, volleyball fans and journalists.

Some extracts from the book:

I could choose between unloading freight from wagons or teaching children to play volleyball, and it was not difficult to choose. The scholarship I was given by the Mathematics Institute was not even sufficient for food, so, as an amateur second league player (setter) with no real success, at the age of twenty, I became a volleyball coach. I continued to live simply, very simply, but at least I could continue studying. At that time, of course, I had no idea that my work as a coach would become my career. I was convinced I would be a mathematician, but there it is, life simply gave me the opportunity to become a coach, which I did and I still am one today.

In 1971 I decided to turn the amateur team into a professional one, to turn a factory club into a top ranking club. One day I told the girls that they were not to go to work, but only train from that moment on. The next morning the director saw them in the factory enclosure and asked them why they were not at work. They replied that their coach had told them not to go to work. Now I had to persuade the director to accept our new way of working. I asked him if he wanted a top team. When I came there I did not say that the players I found there were mine, but two years later I had the right to do so. I told him that if he did not want a top club, we would go to another factory, which would maybe want us. It worked! However, a player can be taller, we can make her grow, by training, by up to two or three centimetres, and if we are able to allow the child to train in a variety of climates, then even more. Precisely, changing climates encourages growth by a few centimetres, and so we spend some time in the Urals, a little in Croatia. By exercising and changing climates we can add four to six centimetres. Also, we can also influence growth with food containing many vitamins and certain fermented products. In the spring I would go south from Uralochka to the Crimea since in the Urals at that time of year there is no fresh food, which is vital to us. Electro-magnetic fields also influence human growth and they vary in different parts of the globe.

I will describe one of the exercises my girls do for stamina. They go up to six hundred metres by car, run to the top of a hill of a thousand metres and then run down. It would be impossible to tell someone to do four thousand squats. Who could do four thousand squats? The effort needed for running those four hundred metres uphill is equivalent to the effort used by the body doing four thousand squats, and this is how you gain both strength and stamina. This exercise is also good for the ligaments, the knees and ankles.

The way the game is organised is based on science, mathematics, mathematical game theories which are based on mathematical analysis, function theory and differential calculus. In order to know what your opponent has available (how you can oppose him) and what you have available (how you will attack), you have to understand mathematics. We have organised the game in a way that no one else ever has. That is why few people understand the way our game is organised. In relation to the way other teams play, ours differs in only one way - it has been organised using science, mathematics. We have used differential calculus in the theory of the game. The dependency of attack and defence may be shown as functions.

Smirnova has a grandmother whom she loves very much. She could not smash the ball in the match against Peru in the finals at the Seoul Olympics. It just would not work. In the break when Peru was leading 2-0 and 12-6 in the third set, I asked her, what would your grandmother say if we lost? She nearly broke down in tears. I asked her again and she started to cry, Come on, go and play for your granny, I told her. And she played like never before. But you can use these, I won’t say weak, but strong points that players have only once. Sometimes you have to wait years for the right moment, determine when it is important enough to use what you know.

I need self-confident women who will not admit to any greater authority than themselves, and everyone else who works with me needs to be like that too. Those around them should see them as lunatics. They must be great in the sense that they are so completely self confident. I tell my girls if they can’t settle with their husbands the details of travel

arrangements, matches and competitions, they cannot be the best in the world. A woman may be tall, fast, strong but she can’t win. Only when she is capable of being the boss in the family is she able to be the best in the world. I need .... so why couldn’t the girls dress-up strong people. like Halle Berry? :o)

-17-

YOUR COUNTY NEEDS YOU

We all enjoy the benefits that the Essex Committee provide for us in the running of the Essex League but eventually, there is going to be a time when they are not going to be prepared to do this anymore And while it is largely unfair that the same 8 or so people out of a collective of around 300 do 90% of the work, people may simply be unaware of what the posts within the committee do and are simply put off by important sounding titles like County Squads Manager or Press Release Officer (if anyone wants to be editor.....). a large number of the roles are voluntary and non committee related and surely more hands making more opportunities would benefit the county as a whole not to mention the individual.

Should anyone wish to take up or enquire about any of the following roles then please do contact the existing committee. At the recent Essex League AGM it was noted on a couple of occasions that perhaps people within Essex would like to stand up and volunteer their services if only they knew what the position entailed. Here is the Essex line-up as it stands:-

COMMITTEE - SEASON 2003/04

President:                                                      Paul Bohannan
Chair:                                                             Brendon Osborne
Secretary                                                       Ken Edwards
Treasurer:                                                      Steve Rosser
Competitions:                                               Ian Johnston

VOLUNTARY POSITIONS

Spike Editor:                                                  Vacant
Womens Secretary:                                       Vacant
Junior Development Officer:                         Vacant
Development Officer:                                    Vacant
Officials Secretary:                                        Vacant
Promotions/Publicity Officer:                        Greg Brown & Liam Chinnery
County Squads Manager:                             Vacant
Membership Secretary:                                 Vacant
Vice Presidents:                                            Gordon Day, Ken Pearce, Tony Pennock,
                                                                        George Peto and to now include Mark Harris

If anyone feels that they can contribute to the running of the Essex League then please do contact one of the above for more details

Elvie

-18-

CONTRIBUTORS

Very, many thanks to all those who took the time to contribute to this mag while under my editorial eye. They include: Lee Gradon, Prozac, Ken Edwards, Sue Douglas, Paul Czerkawski,Tony Clark, Ian Cladingboel, Tom Martin, Steve Corr, James Phillips, Ian Johnston, James Murphy, Claire Sparrow, Justin Lazarus, George Peto, Dave Reece, Rees Warren, Jon Pennock, volleyballmag.com .....and finally....

Seems God was just about done creating the universe, but he had two extra things left in his bag of creations so, he decided to split them between Adam and Eve. He told the couple that one of the things he had to give away was the ability to stand up while urinating. "It’s a very handy thing," God told the couple, who he found under an apple tree. "I was wondering if either one of you wanted the ability".

Adam jumped up and blurted, "Oh, give that to me! I’d love to! Please, oh please, oh please, let me have that ability. It’d be so great! When I’m out working in the garden or naming the animals, I could just stand there and let it fly! It’d be so cool, I could write my name in the snow and everything. Oh, please God, let it be me who you give that gift to, let me stand and pee, oh please!!" On and on he went, like an excited little boy who...well...had to pee.

Eve just smiled and told God that if Adam really wanted that so badly, that he should have it. It seemed to be the sort of thing that would make him happy, and she really wouldn’t mind if Adam were the one given this ability.

And so, Adam was given the ability to control the direction of his micturition while in a vertical position. He was so happy, he celebrated by wetting down the bark on the tree nearest him, laughing with delight all the while. And it was good.  

Fine," God said, looking back into his bag of leftover gifts, "What’s left in here?" "Oh yes," he said, "Multiple orgasms..."