The Big Bang Theory 3.
Ken Edwards charts the beginning of time for Essex Volleyball

Chelmsford Ladies off to a Flyer 4.
First game of the season for the Chelmsford Ladies

More Memories from Bath 5.
An alternative point of view from the non trophy winning team!!

Double Header for Chelmsford Partners 10.
Ken Edwards charts the Partners success story so far

Didn’t we have a lovely time 11.
Walton 2001

Dulwich ditch Partners 14.
More from the Partners

Six Top Tips for Setters 15.
You hold the future of Volleyball in your hands - literally

Mind Games 18.
A look at the inner game of volleyball

View From the Bench 2.
#....and so this is Christmas....#

Keen and Green 7.
Bouncy Castles! How can you go wrong? Brentwood Funday

Readers Lives 8.
See what the rest of the Essex contingent are up to

EVA News Update 9.
More from the EVA: Ken Edwards

League Tables 13.
NVL & Local League standings

Elvie’s Eye on the World 21.
Charles Darwin would be spinning in his grave!!

VIEW FROM THE BENCH

So this is Christmas, and let us just ponder on this for a second. Is it really about parties and presents, giving rather than receiving, carols round the Christmas tree and chestnuts roasting on an open fire?? Or about some guy getting nailed to a cross for saying how great it would be, if we were nice to each other for a change..........or is that Easter?. Either way, I must admit, the religious side of Chrimbo doesn’t really register with me until sometime between inebriation and unconsciousness. The body becomes more relaxed, the mind more open and I start to dwell on the possibilities of the Bible being written by a bunch of stoned philosophers who thought the world was flat and the sun rotated around us!!! I don’t mean to destroy the faith of Christians around the globe (although I think I’m giving it a pretty good go) but according to the gospel of Elv, I believe in individual thought. If you think there is a God, then there is one....... within you. Personally, my God plays volleyball, rides motorbikes, can belt out a screaming guitar solo, surfs on his downtime and wishes it could be Christmas everyday - just like Wizzard!

Since September there has been an awful lot going on in the league. Most notably, is the sad news that newly promoted Highwood Hawks have withdrawn from the 1st Division. Mark Allan, speaking on behalf of ‘Hawks’ explained that this was due to the lack of support from their sports centre and, unfortunately, their coach was no longer able to commit to the team for the season. The good news is that they remain confident to reenter the league in the near future. The Essex Committee are currently doing a ‘roadshow’ of meetings to try and improve the communication amongst Essex volleyballers. Now, if your club is anything like mine then the word ‘meeting’ could see your teammates running a mile but really, these are informal chats to get some response from the people who play the game and to make sure that we’re all happy bunnies. The next available will be held in Colchester and Romford in February and March ‘02 respectively.

Thanks should go out to all those people who have been kind enough to respond to my pleas for articles and to those who’ve provided general words of encouragement. If anyone feels they have anything to contribute then please email me: elvie@cluttons.com or, alternatively, forward to: 91 St. Michael’s Close, Aveley, Essex, RM15 4SY

See you on court

Elvie

The Essex Volleyball Association was formed in 1974, and as several of you know, since then the minutes of each executive meeting and AGM have been numbered. (We are currently up to just over 200. Each successive secretary is bequeathed a box with all this history and I have taken the opportunity to check the many files and rationalise them to the essential records.

What I have discovered is a few gaps in the record, so all those with full attics are asked to look around and see if you can fill in any gaps in the jigsaw. If you can please send to me, contact details below.

The Gaps

The early minutes Nos 1-69 are missing. Current records start with No 70 dated 9 August 1985 attended by Mrs Barralet (Cherry), Tony Pennock, Peter Guernari, Mr Cowan and Mrs Sue Flack. Graham Hicks arrived late (a situation those who know/knew him will find unremarkable!). No 94 which was rescheduled from 25 April to 7^th June 1988 is missing as is No 95 which I suspect was the fist of a new committee for 1988/89. Paul Bohannan was chairman, Graham Hicks Treasurer, unclear who was secretary.

All then runs smoothly up to No 165 around June 1995. There is a gap of Nos 165, 166, 167, 168 {169 - 11 Feb 97 and 170 - 8 Mar 1997 are there} 171, 172 and 173 are missing and we then recommence with 174 with the new committee. As far as I can trace the gap is the 1996/7 season which AGM papers suggest saw Tony Pennock was elected chairman with Simon Rex as secretary, Steve Rosser as Treasurer..

The minutes of meeting 181 on 30 June 1998 were acknowledged to have been lost in subsequent meetings, but if any of you have any records …. From then we have a good paper and increasingly electronic record.

Keep in touch

The minutes of Essex VA Committee meetings are recorded electronically and as it is your association are available to all members. In addition to plans to make them available through the website, you can get an electronic copy direct by letting the Secretary know, when he will include you in the mailing list

Missing Essex VA AGM papers

Those which are not in the master files are

1 ........... 25 March 1974 (formation)
2 ................................ 16 June 1975
3 ................................ 29 June 1976
4 ........................................... ? 1977
5 ........................................... ? 1978
6 .................................... 7 July 1979
7 ........................................... ? 1980
8 ........................................... ? 1981
9 ........................................... ? 1982
10.............................. 28 June 1983
11 ......................................... ? 1984
12................................ 10 July 1985

For 13-28 that is 1987 to 2001 I have a good record. The only real gaps are the 1989/90 and 1996/7 annual reports although any handbooks prior to 1998/9 would also be useful. If you have anything (agenda, minutes, annual report) relating to these years I would be grateful if you could let me know.

Chelmsford off the mark against Cambridge
Words: Ken Edwards, Chelmsford Partners

Chelmsford started their season in Division 2 with a win at home against Cambridge in a hard fought five set game that showed they can compete at the higher level.

It was a new look Chelmsford that started their campaign as one of the top 20 sides in the country. The squad combines the experience of stalwarts such as captain Heaton, player/coach/ Hill, Angus and Morris with the young talent of Taylor, Cox, Daout and Boulton. It was also a welcome back game for Harris after a long lay off which has done nothing to dim her skill or enthusiasm.

It took a few rallies for the starting six of Heaton and Morris setting, Harris and Cox middle hitters plus outside hitters Boulton and Taylor to settle. The tight knit Cambridge side by then looked well in control at 12-5 up mainly through good back court pick ups that were a feature of their game throughout. The set hinged though on a service run by Chelmsford’s Taylor helped by some very good work at the net by Cox and Boulton. Cambridge could not find the right combination to ground the ball and by the time they scrambled back they were 16-12 down. This settled Partners who held on to that advantage to take the set 25-20.

In the second, no such run of points came to the rescue. Chelmsford tried various player combinations but it made no difference as Cambridge stormed back 25-18. By now the pattern of the game was clear. Both sides had strong defence and Partners reliance on Boulton at outside attack was matched by Ladd through the Cambridge middle. The third set again saw Cambridge race away as the tactical line up from Partners proved a poor one. Again a rush of substitutions even bringing on Daout as a back court receiving specialist failed to stem the tide. In truth it was Ladd through the middle that was the problem for Partners as she consistently hit past the block into space. This was Partners worst passage of play and with Cambridge now blocking well the home side had no safe go-to hitter to win rallies. Cambridge coasted to 25-14 set and 2-1 lead.

Chelmsford will need character during the season and from then on in, their players rose to the occasion. If so far they had been tentative in their attacking, they now began to realise that they had to hit winners against the strong Cambridge defence if they were to get back into the game. All the hitters responded and in particular Boulton who was effective from all positions, varying full blooded hard spikes with delicate placements onto the sidelines. Harris placed the ball well into mid court and was a ferret at the back always contriving to be under the ball in either corner. Partners dominated the next set taking it 25-16 to force a fifth set decider for the first to 15 and two clear points.

So often fifth sets become tame affairs with neither side willing to risk a mistake and give away a point. This was not such a set; both sides fought all the way. With the early rallies all square, a marathon point where the ball was run down several times by both sides went to Partners. On the back of this they took the next few points for a 7-4 lead. Cambridge would not go away and blasted back to reach the change of ends at 8-7 up. Ladd now moved to back court, but as server and proceeded to build the advantage that saw Cambridge 13-8 up needing just two points for the game. Partners drew deep and recovered to 10 points but then lost serve leading to set point to Cambridge 10-14. Any error now would be fatal, but a strong block took it to 11-14. It was Hill who was to serve and she picked the deep left corner as her target. In a series of five rallies she put the Cambridge receivers under pressure. They just managed to get the ball back where Chelmsford fed Boulton. She blasted the ball into the court and Partners took the set 16-14 and the match 3-2.

The referees Steve Walton, fresh from the World Standing Volleyball championships and local Richard Bohannan awarded the Ken Pearce player of the day award to Lucy Boulton, making her first appearance for Chelmsford Partners. It was well deserved.

-4-

Picture the scene. One of the best tourneys of the year approaching, guy on a motorbike with no weather protection and the wettest Friday since Noah exclaimed’ nah, it doesn’t look like the heavy stuff is going to come down for a while yet’ Welcome to the Bath Tourney!

Words & photos: Elvie - Romford Rascals

Anyone who travelled the M4 after office hours that Friday evening should have some idea of what I’m talking about. Truth is, in the 28 years of this tourney, it’s only rained twice - I just didn’t want to be caught during one of them.

Still, tucked in and made good progress to the campsite, just in time to observe Danny attempt his ‘official’ induction into the Romford Rascals (pump him full of Kronenberg 1664 all night, put him on the top shelf for the remainder of the evening and see if he can keep it all down by the morning.......He couldn’t) and met up with the rest of the motley crew. Most of us had arrived that night and spirits were high, looking forward to the next days play. We drank, made the usual rowdy nuisance of ourselves and drunkenly staggered back to our tents in the still p***ing rain. The obligatory request from the campsite owners to keep the noise down aside, the Friday evening provided us with more or less the perfect pre-match preparation.

Ok, so we mostly had hangovers but not all. That compulsive hyperactive, Prozac, was up at the crack of dawn with his super soaker, screaming for someone to play with him. I just lay there thinking ‘if I keep really quiet he might go away’ but no. Every five minutes my tent got a regular dousing from his beloved water cannon followed by an ‘Elllvieee......up...........play’....... and then whoosh - another soaking. I think he probably woke the whole team up in this manner, not to mention the best part of the campsite and I dare say, a couple of people in nearby Twerton!! Done the job though and at least it got us to registration on time.

We were put into Men’s Div. 3 which is where all the pot hunters normally go, but we were down on firepower as TP couldn’t’ make the tourney and Jamin thought he’d try his luck indoors instead. We did manage to pick up Leslie, Claire, Rance and recruited Iain ‘Fat Bloke’ Farnill from years gone, so we had a fairly hefty squad. Got off to a good start too, winning our first match on the deciding set and had every intention of steamrollering the pool and emerging as flawless victors - unfortunately, the remaining three teams had something to say about that and, in turn, they crushed our lofty thoughts of volleyball domination over some very close fought sets. It wasn’t that we played bad.......no, hang on.......yeah, it was that, but not all the time.

-5-

Te matches we played well in were just against better opposition........ honest. So our first days play ended in one win and three defeats. Tried to encourage the team with thoughts of an easier days play on Sunday but that just spurred a blast of Elvie’ got a cheesy something.......job, I think it is. Anyway, back to the campsite for a shower and a rest before going out for the evening.

Managed to book us all into a curry house (now, here is a surprise), the Rajpoot on Argyle Street. Extremely well decorated and dare I say it, even tasteful. Shame then that our table was two storeys down, at the end of a labyrinth of corridors with just the one exit (interested to see what the Fire Brigade have to say about that), otherwise a trophy may well have been ‘acquired’ as opposed to won. Saying all that though, they provided us with very good service and the food was excellent. Would use them again. Later, we danced the night away at the Rugby Club’s bar where, lo and behold, I saw some of the camp-est dancing from Jamin & The Kid and myself with my ‘Brotherhood of Man’ medley - we set the floor alight!!. Also thought that Rees from Brentwood VC did an excellent impression of that lead singer from the 70’s band, ‘Darts’!!

The Sunday saw us up earlier than normal as all the camping gear had to be packed away. Made registration before the others (coz I don’t have to queue on the bike or sit behind traffic at lights etc. ha ha) and registered Romford for the second days play. The order of play was organized somewhat strangely I thought (could be just me) as if you lost the first two matches (which we did) then that was your lot for the day. I don’t think too many people were put out by this as Sunday was the nicer of the two days and it gave people time to walk around the city (which, if you’ve never been to, it’s the most beautiful place that just shames London). To end the second day we went indoors to catch the finals. Only stayed for the ladies match which was very well attended but, as time was getting on, I left before the men’s final had begun.

All in all, it was another successful Bath tourney. Even the weather on the Saturday couldn’t dampen the spirits as the whole weekend was carried out in the best possible atmosphere. What I will take away this year from Bath are the little things that made me smile (seeing as I couldn’t get a trophy legitimately!!). Danny, for instance, trying for all the world not to throw up in his tent before he could get the zip open on the Friday. Leslie and her endless bounty of food, drink nibbles and oh, those chocolate covered bananas and peanut butter wotsits. Prozac, trying to recreate a scene from ‘Bridge over the River Kwai’ and Mark ‘The Kid’ Brooks with his thrash metal version of Sesame Street at 8:30am on the Sunday morning. P***ing off the owner of the campsite on Friday night after the pub shut seems to be a must here - still surprises me that he lets us back year after year!! And, finally, Prozac yet again.

His eyes lighting up like a kid in a toy-store when we walked into the curry house. Potential ‘trophies’ just dripping off the walls until we politely informed him that the waiters knew the corridors better than he, the chefs have big knives and know how to use them so perhaps we should err on the side of caution this one time. Same time next year then.

Altogether now. #...and it’s hi ho Silver Lining...#

-7-

BRENTWOOD FUN DAY.

Up early on Saturday 15th September and off to Brentwood’s fun day, not really knowing what the day had in store. I packed for all eventualities, you know the usual things; swimming cossie, volleyball kit, snackie bits. My ten-year-old son just in case there was anything for the kids, so I could get a go on it as well! The day got on it’s way and we saw some good volleyball, there were lots of other things happening as well. At last it was cossie time, and off went a few of the players for a fun splash, big inflatables and one of the Brentwood centre staff enjoying firing a freezing cold hose at people (strange). At this point, there was a hard decision to be made because the bouncy castle was inflated in the sports hall. Now, all the grown-ups had to jump on it to make sure it was safe for the kids to have a go (yeah right). Having decided it was safe, the kids were allowed on. After a while it was decided that the bouncy castle would make a great training aid for blocking at the net (never seen Claire jump so high!). In the evening we all made our way up to the bar for a race night, come quiz night, come bingo. A great time was had by everybody who turned up to support the event. It would have been nice to see a few more faces from a few more clubs, but nevertheless it turned out to be a good night.

The highlight of the evening was the horse racing which consisted of racing with little wooden horses. Now for anyone who hasn’t been to one of these events it involves winding a long piece of rope with a wooden horse on the end around a small wooden baton, (who invents these things). The tricky thing about this is you have to do this while sitting on a chair with your arms around your legs, (some people have seen Ash in this position on court!) Now to be good at this you have to have a good wrist action, which is why I think Tony was so good at this event - funny enough so was Lorraine! Someone told me I was total rubbish at this event, So make of that what you will! Anyway, everybody can lose their shirts betting (well a pound or two) on their favourite horse and jockey, Phil the computer wizard prints out real betting slips and works out your winnings for you. After losing about two quid I gave the quiz a go, and then tried my hand at bingo. Watch out for me down the Mecca!!. Now just to clear something up about the evening, Claire was caught cheating, but unfortunately, the steward for that race was unsighted so she got away with it! After a few drinks, and a few more races the day was over. Shame. A lot thanks and recognition should go to Brendan, Phil and Mini Becker also everybody who helped with the organisation and everybody who supported the day, more of the same please. So just a thought to finish with. If you think you have a good wrist action, you know how to ride fast, you can shout bingo, and you are the pub quiz king, feel free to come and give it a go next time.

Words & Sue Douglas

-8-

Biggest mistake as a child: Putting bleach in my brothers tadpoles - he nearly killed me!

Have you met all of your childhood dreams: No but I’m still trying

Occupation: Fire Officer (education)

Could you bore people senseless at a dinner table: Only if I was stone cold sober

Worst Habit: Taking my shoes off when I’m drunk - lost a few pairs like that

What music would we find in your car: Celine Dion, Jean Michael Jarre, classical believe it or not

Name your top five albums: Changes all the time (which would explain the Celine Dion phase...ed)

If you had to give a young relative a piece of advice, what would it be:

What goes around comes around and try to appreciate what you have got

Unfulfilled dreams?: To go whale watching with my sister

You’re in a train compartment approaching a tunnel with Jeremy Clarkson, Paxman and Beadle. Absolutely sure you could get away with it, which one would you hit:

Clarkson!! Responsible for some really bad hairstyles!

-9-

Received by Essex VA from the English VA September 2001

All these documents have been sent to the Essex Volleyball Association as a whole. If members would like to see any of them, please let me know

• Covering letter from chairman asking us to ensure all volleyball played in the county is through members of the English Volleyball Association. Supporting affiliation forms for senior and junior clubs.

• Entry forms for U15 boys and girls national championships and National Student Cup which is open to all teams based in institutions for full-time Education

• Junior News giving news of Junior beach championships, Tees Valley Youth Development Zones, the national junior women’s squad, the 12th place achieved at the World Student Games in Beijing and ‘name the tiger’ which appears on the new Volley Cards (I have now seen a copy and commend them to those working with juniors)

• The Whistler, the newsletter for registered referees. There have been a few minor rule changes and tidying up. Much of it is technical e.g. responsibilities of second ref or tidying up e.g. putting the libero rules together. Aficionados can check www.fivb.org/volleyball/ and follow through to the latest text. Also on the site are the new rules of the game casebook which gives real live situations, the ref’s decision and a discussion of whether this was correct.

• News update for October – the main newsletter. As mentioned before, clubs should be getting this through their secretaries IF they are registered with the English VA. Of local interest is the success of both boys and girls Havering teams in the London Youth Games.

• Sundry papers including the EVA accounts showing turnover £234,000, Sport England grant £208,000 and a surplus for the year of just £172. Whatever we may think, it is the taxpayers that are bankrolling volleyball. There is also a purchase order form for Volley Sport cards, scorebooks, rule books etc. Lastly information on the new National League player of the year voting arrangements.

Chelmsford Partners men start the National League season with two strong wins

Playing this season in National League Division 3 East, Chelmsford men recorded a 3-0 victory over Guildford II before winning a thrilling five set match against Tower Hamlets Lynx 3-2. New captain Eric Braddick took the man of the match award.

This is a new look Chelmsford squad which has welcomed back last season’s stalwarts Braddick, Bohannan, Peacock and Edwards, included the returning Parkinson after a year out, Fryer to full time, and added new blood in the Marriott brothers Matthew and Nigel from Hertfordshire. Last year’s injured captain, Day may also join later in the season, although Braddick has taken over the armband for the time being.

In the first game against Guildford II, Bohannan and Matthew Marriott took setting duties, Fryer and Braddick the outside attack with Parkinson and Peacock filling the middle attack roles. With only a few variations, alternating Nigel Marriott for Peacock, this line-up remained unchanged throughout the day and became increasingly cohesive and effective. The first set saw Partners pull away steadily through good first ball, both from service and in rallies, allowing the setters to vary the lines of attack. Braddick, Fryer and Parkinson were all given the ball to good effect. The outcome was 25-15 Partners.

The second set was the same story. Nigel Marriott switching with Peacock with no loss of momentum, Partners taking the set 25-14. In the third, Matthew Marriott began the set serving and by the time Partners lost a rally, they were themselves 16-0 up. Guildford II contributed much to this in poor shot selection and made so many unforced errors that they were forced to use both time outs and substitute on their coach in a desperate effort to get into the set. For Chelmsford the front line block of Parkinson Fryer and Bohannan was outstanding. The last few points were a formality as Chelmsford took the set 25-5 for a 3-0 victory.

The match against Tower Hamlets Lynx was always going to be a different affair. Lynx easily disposed of Guildford 3-0 as an entrée showing their hard hitting all out attack game to good effect. It took only a few points for Partners to adjust to the new pace with the defence in particular stepping up a gear. The problem with playing Lynx is that not only do you have a constant stream of attack, they have a very mobile back court so that only all out winners bring the rally to a close. Partners somewhat surprised themselves to take the first set 25-23, after keeping their nerve in a tight finish. The London side blasted back on the back of some jump serving by Sliti that was at times unplayable for a 25-13 reply.

Partners regrouped. Parkinson combed well with the setter Marriott for short middle attacks and Fryer picking up anything in back court, the home side took control of the third set early. Although they tired towards the end it was enough for a 25-19 set. The fourth again unleashed the jump serve of Sliti and with Beckford’s setting pulling the Partners front court block all ways the scores were levelled with a 25-14 set. At this stage Lynx had outscored Partners 92-77 and must have felt confident for the 15 point whirlwind deciding set. Enter Peacock and Fryer with other ideas. Chelmsford raised their game and at last began to consistently penetrate the London defence. They changed ends 8-6 up and kept the advantage until the last marathon point when Fryer blasted the ball down past the visitors defence. 15-12 for a memorable 3-2 win.

The referees conferred for some time, before selecting Partners captain Braddick as Mallinson man of the match, an award that Chelmsford give to the player who contributed most to the team’s performance. In truth all the players were contenders and Partners can look forward to the next fixture in two weeks with the rematch against Lynx on their home court couples with a game against arch rivals Brentwood.

Words: Ken Edwards Chelmsford Partners

The Walton beach tournament has to be one of my favourites. It was the first tourney I ever played in (excuse me while I wipe away a tear), and although some of you may disagree, I don’t think too much has changed over the years. This year, as always, saw the Romford contingent out in force, along with most of the Essex clubs well represented. There were the seasoned veterans informing anyone who’ll listen that they’ve been to every Walton tourney since time began and the young rookie players optimistically sizing up the opposition, most of them blissfully unaware of what a difference playing on sand actually makes. As always, you had the Tendring guys & girls busy constructing the courts, getting no end of abuse from all passers by because the net’s too low, too high, the court’s too big, too small, the lines are too wonky, the sea’s too cold, Sun too hot blah de blah.

True to form, on a knackered set of speakers came the irritated voice of Mark Harris, ranting about all the teams who hadn’t registered yet. I’m sure he knew deep down that most of them were still in bed, and so did the numerous tired and hung-over, who obviously wished that they were too!. As a bright light lit up the beach, all eyes turned hopefully to the heavens, wishing for a small glimpse of sunshine. But, alas, it was not to be - it was just our esteemed editor Elvie, who had just arrived wearing the most outrageous Hawaiian shirt and matching shorts you have ever seen in your Goddamn life!! (it’s true – I have). Several times I have tried to challenge Elvie for his self styled title of ‘loudest shirt on the beach’, but nothing in my wardrobe could compare with his hideous ensemble!

There were many familiar sights on the day; the guys ogling at the occasional group of young ladies in fetching swimwear (themselves laughing at the collection of pale, paunched men and that guy who really shouldn’t be wearing those Speedos), the wizened old pros exchanging tales from previous years (remember that bloke who dived for a ball and got up with a large brown streak along his chest?), and let’s spare a thought for those poor, unwilling regular attendants to the tournament, the local OAPs. We didn’t have quite as many locals getting upset by our presence on their beach as in previous years but it is worth remembering that local councils, whose cooperation is vital to tournaments, are strongly influenced by these people. Thankfully, there was not a repeat of the incident of a couple of years ago when a stubborn elderly couple insisted on setting up their deck chairs in their ‘usual spot’, which unfortunately happened to be 2 feet from the baseline of one of the higher men’s division courts, and the gentleman was promptly struck full in the face by a hard, if somewhat inaccurate, hit! (Yeah - sorry ‘bout that - ed).

This year I had taken it upon myself to introduce a few of the boys from my Uni’s team to the joys of summer tournaments. Although initial interest was good, only 2 ended up going (poor show). However, the slots were filled by one reluctant mate who owed a favour and my dearest little brother (bless him). Fortunately this somewhat inexperienced team (none of whom had ever played on sand before) found themselves in what was, in my opinion, byfar the easier of the two pools. Even then the guys had a lot of problems, winning only one match (barely) against a middle-aged married couple and their two kids (the husband looked for all the world like George W Bush).

My team meanwhile were having a great time! The only match we came close to losing was against some of the guys from Tigers (at least I think that’s who they were). We were match point down with an 8-point deficit when we managed to snatch a point back, and then I had to serve! My tactic; simple, close my eyes and keep hitting jump-serves with as much power as I could muster until somebody had won. As it turned out, those somebodys were us! So there we were, Tom, Wookie, Cleaver & myself, the undisputed kings of our pool, grinning with glee as we watched Elvie’s team (the legendary ‘Dr Teeth & the Electric Mayhem’) have a much rougher time of it in the harder pool. The ‘Mayhem’ gave a respectable account of themselves, narrowly missing out on the runners-up spot of their pool. This was a great shame as it denied them the chance of playing me & co in the semis. The worthy winners at the end of the day were Ben Wilson and his cronies, aka, ‘You’re having a Steffi’. With my lot putting up a brave fight on our way, we were ousted in the semi-final against the Tractor Boys.

In true tournament tradition, the second day saw wind, rain, hail, etc. This, as usual, meant that a lot of the team in the pairs competition didn’t show up and many others dropped out during the day. The bonus of this was that teams such as ‘Prozac & Fish’ (with our die-hard, play at all costs come storm, flood, brimstone or plagues), were able to progress to the semi-finals for the third year running despite never having won a single game in all that time. This was doubly good because, as is often the case, the weather improved around lunchtime and decent games were had and enjoyed by all.

Eventually, as always, we played a match where losing meant exiting the competition. I was left to wait for my ride home staring out to sea, wondering what had become of my lucky toilet seat (don’t ask) that Wookie decided to launch, frisbee style, into the briny a few years back.

Fond memories these all may be, but let’s be looking forward to the future and more of these great beach tourneys at their new venue! Not much is known for sure about the next location, but rumours point towards the excellent beaches (by this countries standards anyway) of Frinton and Clacton-on-Sea. Wherever it ends up, I plan to be there with bells on (possibly quite literally). Hope I’ll see you all there too.

Words & Photos: Prozac
Romford Wildcards

EGULAR

DULWICH DITCH PARTNERS

Womens National League Division 2
Words: ken Edwards

After a home win against Cambridge, Chelmsford faced a sterner test at Dulwich Tuskers who narrowly missed promotion last season and are looking to go one better this time. Chelmsford took a strong squad with only Boulton missing but overall were unable to raise their game consistently to play at the required level.

The match started with the setting combination of Heaton and Daout, Taylor and Angus through the outside with Harris and Cox the middle players. Dulwich got by the far the better of the early exchanges and all too quickly Chelmsford found themselves 10-1 down. Captain Heaton led by example to steady the ship and with Harris scoring through the centre Partners redressed the balance and were outscoring Tuskers by the time the home side held set point at 24-18. But it was too late to rescue the set that finished at 25-18.

The second set saw Heaton joined by Morris in setting and player coach Hill through outside attack. Chelmsford started the set well and held an early 5-2 lead. Dulwich were at this stage playing well within themselves and with minimal unforced errors, the rallies began to last until Chelmsford gave away the point, often through an attack error. Partners outside attack had become all too predictable and the home side set up their defence accordingly. The set gradually swung to the home team and although Angus, Cox and Taylor defended well, only Harris posed an attacking threat. At the close it was another 25-18 to Tuskers scoreline.

Two sets down, but not completely outplayed, Chelmsford changed tactics and began the next set with Morris switching to outside attack where she used her line hitting to good advantage. Daout joined Heaton as setters and in the early exchanges the switch seemed to be reaping dividends. Partners were now trying to finish rallies quickly so their points scoring rate climbed, but so did their error rate. At 9-6 up the team were more vocal and working hard for each other and well back in the game. Unfortunately the high risk approach could not be sustained and Dulwich kept to their secure and steady game plan gradually catching up. Partners did have one fleeting opportunity of the set at 24-23 up, but in the end they were worn down by a Dulwich side that just kept on playing through whatever Chelmsford did. Tuskers took the set 27-25 for a 3-0 victory.

The pessimistic view is that Chelmsford’s weakness in attack was cruelly exposed and is their major weakness. Without their outstanding points scorer from last season Blackmore, sidelined by pregnancy, they do seem to lack a range attack options. With Hill now also out through starting a family, the responsibility falls on Harris and the young Cox, Taylor and Boulton. However, the more optimistic supporters to the improving play of the remaining hitters, the potential for Blackmore to return later in the season and the fact that Partners have proved capable of playing well for periods in this company. They now need to maintain this for a full match to begin notching up regular wins. The referees award of the Ken Pearce player of the match award to Chelmsford captain Sara Heaton was a close run thing against Kate Harris, but overall the leadership skills and sound ball distribution from Heaton meant the award was well deserved.

Chelmsford now have three weeks before going on the road for back to back matches against Birmingham and Wolverhampton.

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SIX SECRET WEAPONS FOR SETTERS

As a setter, you hold both the team’s most powerful position and its most frustrating one.

Setters control the tempo, create the offense and maintain momentum. But with errant passing or weak hitters, setters can be left feeling ineffectual and unable to contribute.   Even if you sometimes feel dependent on your teammates, remember that a setter has weapons, too. Here are six that make you a more potent player.

Setters sometimes forget to keep an eye on their own technique. If hitters aren’t converting and passers aren’t performing, it’s easy to shift the blame. But if you work on achieving your best technique on every set, you can save a lot of those bad passes or give a struggling hitter an easy set.

Let’s look at setting from the ground up. First, work on having quick feet-this means moving to the ball before setting it. Once you’re there and ready, your feet should be shoulder-width apart or slightly wider. Bend your knees slightly, and make sure your weight is evenly distributed from the balls of your feet to the arches. Don’t have your weight too far forward or backward because this makes it difficult to change direction. The foot closest to the net should be a little ahead of the other one. This slightly rotates your hips and shoulders into the court and helps keep the set from drifting too tight or over the net.  Elevate your hands to your forehead, and cock your wrists in anticipation of the set. Keep your hand and fingers firm, point your elbows out at an angle between 45 and 90 degrees.

When you set, use all of your fingers. The ring fingers and the pinkies help stabilize the ball.  Also, the more surface area you touch, the better you can control the ball. Take the set at your forehead, and use your entire body to push it towards the hitter. Finally, follow through with your hands after the ball is released; this helps keep it in a true trajectory.

THE TIP

This is often used by setters who receive a too-tight pass. But by using it only as an emergency play, they lose out on the offensive power behind the tip. The best time to use the tip is on a good pass because the defence won’t expect it. You have to execute it fairly quickly, but being deceptive is more important than being fast. Good setters combine both speed and deception when they tip.

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When executing the tip, use a firm hand and a quick wrist. Avoid using your elbow as a lever because this "slam dunk’ technique will usually get you called for a throw. You can tip with either hand, and you can direct the ball forward, behind you or to the middle of the court. A tip can be hit short or deep. 
I usually tip to the middle because it allows me to be the most deceptive. If the defence changes strategy or is covering the middle well, I’ll tip toward the sidelines. It’s a good idea to stick with your strong tip, but still throw in a little variety. Eight out of ten times I’ll go with my favourite shot, but the other times I’ll target a new area. And if my opponents start expecting the short tip, I’ll go to the deep corner.

THE JUMP SET

Jump setting is a great setter’s tool, and it creates many advantages. First, it speeds up your offence because you reach the ball sooner. Second, it often makes it easier to set quicks or shoots because you’re closer to the height of your attacker as she jumps in her approach. And third, it can fool your opponents into thinking you’re going to attack. If they put a blocker on you, that’s one less blocker for your hitter to worry about.

I like to jump set to the outside because a lot of setters jump only when they’re going to set the middle. I think it’s important that setters learn to set every set both from the ground and from a jump set. When you jump set, make sure your feet are in position first-you have to be under the ball to make an accurate jump set. Use the same body and hand positioning as you’d use on a set from the ground. Set the ball when you reach the peak of your jump. And practice, practice, practice. This set doesn’t come naturally to most people and takes work to master.

SAVING THE TIGHT PASS

Sometimes, your passers will overshoot their target (you), and the ball will begin to drift over the net. Instead of cowering as the opposing hitter smashes it back at you, take steps to save the tight pass. On a tight pass, your first priority is to make a set. On a tight and high pass, the first option is to use a jump set. But doing this requires a pretty good jump and good arm and hand strength. Angle your back toward the net to keep from netting, jump straight up and contact the ball with both hands. Angle your hands back to your side of the court to help keep the set off the net. A second option-one that’s much harder to execute-is the one-handed set (pictured). Reach high with your outside hand (the one closest to the net) and keep your hand, fingers and wrist stiff. You have to kind of poke at the ball.

This is the safest way to do it without being called for a lift. The softer your hand and wrist are, the more likely it is that the ref will blow the whistle. If you can’t reach the ball and you’re a front row setter, try to attack the ball either with a hit or a tip. Or you can put up a block against the opponent’s attack.

If you’re in the back-row, the last-ditch options are limited. If the ball is out of your reach and drifting over the net, try faking a set. This will confuse your opponents and might keep them from attacking the overpass. Another thing you can do is fake a block by jumping, and then pull your hands down. This can also affect their options.

SAVING THE NET PASS

Almost as bad as an overpass is the pass that shoots into the net. But this doesn’t take away all your setting options. Your first step is to save the ball. Watch to see where the ball is going to hit the net, and position yourself under it. Bend your knees, crouch down and wait for the ball to pop out so you can make a bump set. Keep an eye on where the ball contacts the net. If it hits up high, chances are that the ball will roll down the net. You’ll need to stay close to the net to make this play. If the ball hits low, it will probably pop out. Be ready to react and move away from the net to reach it.

The biggest mistake is to stay too high. If you are not crouching low and aren’t ready to react, you’re more likely to misjudge the ball, and then you won’t have time to react.

HAND SETTING THE LOW PASS

Sometimes a pass comes at you low and quick. Instead of waiting (or hoping) for the ball to hit the net, try to get your hands on it and set it from a low position. It takes a lot of arm strength to set an outside ball like this and a lot of leg strength to support your body in a crouched position. But if you can do it, this is the best way to deal with a low pass. Getting your hands on the ball gives you much better control and better location options.

Get a quick read on the ball, and decide where it’s going to drop. Hustle to that position, and get low. Make sure your feet and body are under the ball because you’ll need that leverage to push the ball up. Take the set in the normal setting position, and push it to your target

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MIND GAMES

OK, so lets open up a can of worms here. Hopefully, this article will provoke some discussion amongst yourselves. I’d like to focus on the mental side of the sport. The inner game, if you will.
Words: Elvie
Romford Rascals

Some years back I read a book called ‘The Inner Game of Tennis’ and basically it was this. Every individual knows how well he or she can play - the problem is tapping into that potential at the critical times during a match. For example: A player may be blessed with a ferocious forehand drive which can be hit from anywhere in the court. At 5-1, 40:15 and serving in the first set, such a need may develop for this shot and the player will be confident to make the play, but ask the same player to hit the same shot at 5-5 in the breaker or to save a set point in the tenth game and all of a sudden, this becomes the most difficult stroke in the game!!. This is all about the mental game - the inner game.

Since then I’ve fast forwarded ten years and replaced tennis with volleyball. The sport may’ve changed but the principle behind the inner game remains the same. Let’s take a textbook situation. First spike of the match seems a relatively unimportant affair. There are maybe another 50 odd points to play before the set is over and then another four sets perhaps, so this one shot at such an early stage seems like a drop in the ocean. The same textbook spike at 15-15 in the fifth set is a different kettle of boiled haddock altogether. Why is this? Well, physical and mental conditioning play their part but I think that the real problem is FEAR!!...

Yes fear. We’re not talking about the namby pamby, bed wetting, scared of the bogeyman type but fear of making a mistake. There is this fear that missing the shot is going to cause embarrassment or a loss of self confidence. If this shot is missed then those feelings can be amplified by an inconsiderate or unsupportive team. On top of all that, it would appear that, if you were at set/match point, the blame lies entirely at your feet (hands - sic.). You could humiliate yourself in front of your home crowd or a hostile away team. All of these things conspire against your own inner game.

There is no fear but the fear you make. Now, apart from sounding like a dodgy piece of dialogue from the Terminator II movie, it is largely true. We build up anxieties inside ourselves if things aren’t going our way and begin to doubt our own abilities. There is a ‘Stressed Eric’ within us all (and not just me!).

The previous points you cannot do anything about – the current one you can, so give it your full attention

Before I go on, I should point out that the idea of this article is not to bring your game down (although I’m aware that it reads like that now) but merely to bring to your attention that this inner game does exist and can have an effect on your performance. Once you recognize this, you can start to do something about it.

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The mind is stronger than the body and I believe that you should detach yourself from the importance of the score and concentrate on the point at hand. The previous points you can’t do anything about - the current one you can, so give it your full attention. This way, if you look after the points one at a time, the score will look after itself. Coming back to this textbook set to you, if you’d missed the earlier shot, then this next point is now that little bit more important to you and your team so you will try that bit harder to succeed. Some players will naturally keep a mental tally of shots made and missed - it’s how some of us determine whether we’ve had a good game or not. We want to keep the mistakes to a minimum but still apply the pressure (hit the hardest shot that you KNOW will go in, my coach always used to say).

Try not to fall into the trap though of trying too hard. If you were to bludgeon your way through this fear of missing by just going hell for leather at this next point, then anything other than a perfectly set ball may result in another mistake. In other words, the player has already prearranged through his/her head, regardless of what sort of pass they get, what they are going to do to the next ball. The player with this ‘red mist’ is likely to be less fluid and more robotic in his/her movements. With that, the timing diminishes and the likelihood of blasting the ball into the back wall or ignoring the two man block right on top of the net, sees another point lost. So what is the way out of this?? How do you avoid this discomfort of failing??. How do you make the inner game work for you??

If your shot goes pear shaped, don’t worry; it happens, accept it, next point

This, like I said, is a point of view and technically this statement is incorrect, but as this article is geared more towards personal performance than points acquired, it’s still not a bad train of thought to adopt; Try as hard as you can. It sounds too obvious but if you’re trying as hard as you can then you can’t make a mistake because you’ve already given your best. You can’t give more than that and if it isn’t good enough then, maybe on this occasion, the opposition got the better of you - but remember, they’ve got to get the better of you 25 times!!. If your shot goes pear shaped, don’t worry; It happens, accept it, next point - just try not to do it again and certainly don’t dwell on it. Nobody makes mistakes on purpose - I’ve been saying that for years and still believe it to be true, at least of people such as ourselves. When someone is attempting the first pass, the set, the spike. If someone is trying to block a big hit, covering the block, covering the hitter, serving the ball over the net. All of these shots are played by people who want it to succeed.

Focus is the concentration that will see the ball, from the moment of it’s flight, till the point it contacts yourself

Just like the pain of missing a shot, there is an equal pleasure in performing the shot correctly that we all strive for. The fact that we don’t play these shots to the best of our ability isn’t because the person didn’t try - more likely because they didn’t focus.

Focus is the concentration that will see the ball, from the moment of it’s flight, til the point it contacts yourself. This focus will determine your early preparation. This is important as it will decide how much time you have to position your feet for the pass/set or the approach to a spike. The more time you have to make the play, the more calm and relaxed you’ll feel which will lead to better execution and a higher ratio of success. The alternative is seeing the ball late, shuffling your feet, rushing the play, contacting the ball while still moving and then swearing blind that there was no way that you could’ve played the shot any better!!. Focus is key, if you lose this then mistakes are sure to follow.

The only mistake to make on court is to give less than 100% (and if you can give more - so much the better). I mean, how can you expect the best from yourself if you’re not trying as hard as you can?? It means that every time you are on court, however frequent that may be, you try as hard as you can on that day. This last bit is important as your best one week may not be as good as your best last week, so try not to be discouraged if it doesn’t seem to be going right for you. Ideally you should always be giving 100% and if you were to achieve this then mistakes will become fewer and farther in between. Your execution will improve as, if a shot goes amiss, you’ll have the presence of mind to recognize what went wrong and correct it next time. In essence, you’ll be coaching yourself.

Recognition, application and repetition - these are very seeds of self improvement. It’s just another learning process and, like anything else, will come with time and practice.

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Of course, developing this focus is a skill that needs to be honed for it to be an asset to yourself. To help you achieve this, employ visualization within your game. Try to see this perfect shot in your minds eye before attempting the execution. This shouldn’t be confused with the prearranged shot. No, visualization occurs a split second before contact. You’ve already received the pass from the setter or seen the flight of the serve. The body will follow what the mind is telling it so if you see yourself playing the perfect shot you may very well do that - or get pretty damn close to it. Great players in all manner of sports employ this technique to perfect their perfect shot, rally or even match! Either way, it’s got to be a better state of mind than thinking ‘oh no, don’t serve on me’. Imagine yourself playing the perfect shot and see your game improve.

Many times I’ve seen the fifth set get steamrollered by the mentally stronger team

Another factor is the people around you. If other team mates aren’t trying as hard as you think you are, then resentment can creep in. Try not to go that way (it leads to the dark side). Instead trust in your team that every individual is trying as hard as they can for the good of the team as well as their own personal benefit. In the tight fifth set, this trust in each other will be the glue that keeps you together and pulls you through. Resentment at this stage is fatal and many times I’ve seen the fifth set get steamrollered by the mentally stronger team after four closely fought sets. For the time being though, do the best with whatever ball you get - it is all you can do.

Lets go back to our earlier red mist friend. If you’ve already decided to play the ball one way but the pass you receive isn’t suitable, do you still go with the prearranged play?? The alert player will recognize that the play isn’t on and improvise another one. OK, so you’ve had to compromise what may’ve been a great shot/pass but when the hit is not on you play the percentage. The best struck ball is useless if it doesn’t clear the net and in such a situation, you’ve got to make the opposition play. At local league, I’d say there are as many points won on forcing the error out of the opposition as kill-balls won by a team. The amount of times in tennis I would miss a running backhand down the line to hit just one full blooded drive, and sure, I’d feel great about that one drive, but the 6 or so I missed would count heavily against me.

It’s a bit corny and a little cliched but some say that there is no such thing as a mistake - just a learning experience. Well, yes and no. It is a learning experience if you take something from it. If your play hasn’t gone as planned, then ask yourself why. Literally - stop (after the point has finished, obviously), analyse your own shot and ask of yourself ‘what must I do to play the shot correctly’. More than often, you’ll come up with the answer yourself like ‘got to get my body behind the ball’ or ‘move into position sooner’ and then you’re back to the focus thing - you’ve already told yourself how to correct it. If you are still new to the game then ask your coach what you are doing wrong.

Whichever way the answer comes to you, keep that thought in your mind and the next time the same shot comes along you’ll remember how to do it right - or at least how to not do it wrong!!(?). If a mistake goes by unnoticed then you may well see yourself doing exactly the same thing again. I mean, really, if you’ve served the ball for instance and the receiver has struggled, wouldn’t you serve to the same person again and again until they got it right?? You can win 4 or 5 points like that alone.

In short, you’re zoning!!!

There will come a time one day on court where everything becomes easy. You’re naturally seeing the ball onto your forearms with a solid but unrushed push of the legs, sets silently pass in and out of your fingers with the ball hardly spinning, you time your approach to perfection and swing through, finally connecting with a satisfying slap at the top of your jump as the wrist flicks through the ball. In short, you’re zoning!!! Every part of your game thatn you’ve worked so hard to perfect has come together and it is probably the volleyball equivalent of Zen!!.

Hopefully, everyone reading this has had that feeling You’ve played a shot and know that you couldn’t have hit it any better. It will come as no surprise to yourselves then that this situation came about, not from rushing or imagining you can’t do it. Instead, you’ll be totally relaxed, in a positive state of mind and enjoying every moment. How long this state remains is up to the individual but, needless to say, this higher state of play may become your norm for years to come - If so, then congratulations – your game has just got better! For many though, it’s just a point here and there. When it happens though, recognize it, enjoy it for what it is and try to replicate it as much as possible. Who knows, you may be on the way to that perfect match.

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ELVIE’S EYE ON THE WORLD

(The late) John Pernicky and his friend, (the late) Sal Hawkins, of the great state of Washington, decided to attend a local Metallica concert at the George Washington amphitheatre. Having no tickets (but having had 18 beers between them), they thought it would be easy to "hop" over the nine foot fence and sneak into the show. They pulled their pick-up truck over to the fence and the plan was for (the late) Mr. Pernicky, who was 100-pounds heavier than Mr. Hawkins) to hop the fence and then assist his friend over.

Unfortunately for (the late) Mr. Pernicky, there was a 30-foot drop on the other side of the fence. Having heaved himself over, he found himself crashing through a tree. His fall was abruptly halted (and broken, along with his arm, as it were) by a large branch that snagged him by his shorts. Dangling from the tree with a broken arm, he looked down and saw some bushes below him. (Possibly) figuring the bushes would break his fall, he removed his pocket knife and proceeded to cut away his shorts to free himself from the tree. Finally free, (did I mention that he is THE LATE) Mr.Pernicky crashed into Holly bushes. The sharp leaves scratched his ENTIRE body and now, without the protection of his shorts, a holly branch penetrated his rectum. To make matters worse (?!), on landing, his pocketknife penetrated his thigh 3 inches. (The late) Mr. Hawkins, on seeing his friend in considerable pain and agony, decided to throw him a rope and pull him to safety (now he thinks of the "S" word) by tying the rope to the pickup truck and slowly driving away. However, in his drunken haste/state, he put the truck into reverse and crashed through the fence landing on his friend and killing him. Police arrived to find the crashed pick-up with its driver thrown 100 feet from the truck and dead at the scene from massive internal injuries.

Upon moving the truck, they found John under it, half-naked scratches on his body, a holly stick in his rectum, a knife in his thigh, and his shorts dangling from a tree branch 25-feet in the air. Employees in a medium-sized warehouse in west Texas noticed the smell of a gas leak. Sensibly, management evacuated the building, extinguishing all potential sources of ignition lights, power, etc. After the building had been evacuated, two technicians from the gas company were dispatched. Upon entering the building, they found they had difficulty navigating in the dark. To their frustration, none of the lights worked (you can see what’s coming, can’t you?).

Witnesses later described the sight of one of the technicians reaching into his pocket and retrieving an object, that resembled a cigarette lighter. Upon operation of the lighter-like object, the gas in the warehouse exploded, sending pieces of it up to three miles away. Nothing was found of the technicians, but the lighter was virtually untouched by the explosion. The technician suspected of causing the blast had never been thought of as ‘bright’ by his peers.

The 2000 Darwin Award winner is... (22 March 1999, Phnom Penh) Decades of armed strife have littered Cambodia with unexploded munitions and ordnance. Authorities warn citizens not to tamper with the devices. Three friends recently spent an evening sharing drinks and exchanging insults at a local café in the south-eastern province of Svay Rieng. Their companionable arguing continued for hours, until one man pulled out a 25 year old unexploded antitank mine found in his backyard. He tossed it under the table, and the three men began playing Russian Roulette, each tossing down a drink and then stamping on the mine. The other villagers fled in terror. Minutes later, the explosive detonated with a tremendous boom, killing the three men in the bar. "There were no remains" Rasmei Kampuchea newspaper reported.

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CONTRIBUTORS

Very, many thanks to all those who took the time to contribute this quarter. They include: Sue Douglas, Ken Edwards, Prozac Ian Cladingboel, volleyballmag.com Justin Lazarus

and finally.....

Yet another of my email compatriots, ‘The Cladman’ came up with this. It is absolutely horrendous but very seasonal, so it finds it’s way into this issue.

A Russian couple were walking down the street in Moscow one night, when the man felt a drop hit his nose.
"I think it’s raining", he said to his wife.
"No, that felt more like snow to me", she replied.
"No, I’m sure it was just rain, he said".
Well, as these things go, they were about to have a major argument about whether it was raining or snowing when they saw a communist party official walking toward them.
"Let’s not fight about it", the man said,
"Let’s ask Comrade Rudolph whether it’s officially raining or snowing".
As the official approached, the man said, "Tell us, Comrade Rudolph, is it officially raining or snowing?"
"It’s raining, of course", he replied, and walked on.
But the woman insisted: "I know that felt like snow!"
To which the man quietly replied: "Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear." Hope everyone has a cracking Christmas and a very merry New Year.

All the best

Elv

NEXT ISSUE: MARCH 14TH