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Issue 6 January 2003

Sadly, it has not been possible to copy of the great photos

VIEW FROM THE BENCH!

For the more astute amongst you, you will no doubt notice that this edition of Spike has fallen after Christmas instead of before. Now, there are two very good reasons. Firstly, it saves me running around like a headless chicken immediately before the Chrimbo holidays chasing people for articles, editing, planning and finally printing copies for the chairs of each club. All the while simultaneously fending off my paralytic work colleagues, fresh back from the pub, high on Christmas cheer, dodging the darts from our dartboard, snatching my guitar back off the ones who swear to God that they are Jimmy Page from Led Zep and insist on screaming ‘Stairway to Heaven’ at the top of their voices into my ear. Personally, I would rather be the one doing that!. Secondly, articles are becoming more and more scarce in that I have nothing to tell you, so instead, I’m relying upon all you lovely people to tell me all about your drunken debauched festive celebrations. Failing that, you’re all going to be reading my unnerving dribble and staring at the Essex League tables!

In the Local Leagues, Brentwood seem to be happy dominating all divisions. Not content with just local league now, they are also topping the Men’s & Ladies National Div 3 East!. I mean, James Phillips amongst others is in the running for the most valuable player. How the hell did that happen :o) Essex Estonians don’t seem to be having it all their own way in NVL Div. 2 but are holding their own and avoiding the drop so far. Partners are fairing much the same as last season with the Men’s side just holding above the drop point and Ladies a little higher.

As yet, any decision for the upcoming County/Area Cup is still in discussion. The EVA are currently proposing an alternative venue after Yorkshire withdrew it’s support for this event.  Brentwood have offered to host later on in the year if that is possible. Check the Essex Website for up to the minute details.

As always, articles are the lifeblood of this magazine so anything that you wish to include should be forwarded to myself:-

Paul Elverstone, 91 St Michaels Close, Aveley, Essex RM15 4SY

email: elvie@cluttons.com

Elvie

-2-

CONTENTS

SEEVIC & Havering lead the way                                                                     4.
Details of British Colleges Sport tourney

Defensive Troubleshooting                                                                              10.
Five tips to ensure more successful defence

Volleyball from the Windy City                                                                        12.
James Murphy reports on volleyball stateside

Chelmsford delight fans with a win                                                                  12.
Partners Ladies in their first home win

Mental Blocks                                                                                                 16.
Volleyballmag.com helping you to overcome those blocking faults

REGULARS

View From the Bench                                                                                          2.
Time to do it all again.

League Tables                                                                                                      6.
League positions in Local/National and Cup tables

Readers Lives                                                                                                      14.
This issue, not everything is as it seems

Who’d be a Referee                                                                                              15.
More from Dave Reeces website

Stuff you don’t need to know 18.
This issue - is there a Santa

-3-

Essex Volleyball Success in Eastern Counties Colleges Sport
Words: Lee Gradon, SEEVIC College

Essex colleges took the top places in both the women’s and the men’s competitions suggesting that there may be some new young players soon to be flooding into the local teams!!

The ‘British Colleges Sport’ is a National Competition for 6th form and tertiary colleges, arranged on a regional basis in 12 sports. The Eastern Region actually includes us, Norfolk, Suffolk, Beds, Herts, Cambridgeshire and stretches up to Peterborough. 18 Colleges are affiliated to the Eastern Region, but the Men’s Volleyball only attracted 8 entries, and the women’s five.

Chelmsford College hosted the men’s competition in October, Gill Gillick arranging the competition into two pools and it was great to see that Lorraine and Tony were there as the refs. Luckily each pool seemed to contain two stronger teams, and cross over semi finals saw the all Essex ‘Colchester V SEEVIC’ in one, whilst Havering took on West Anglia in the other. Both semi-finals were rather one sided affairs, but the nail biting final made up for it.

Havering and SEEVIC both had squads playing three touch volleyball, with some strong serving and the occassional bit hit. The SEEVIC team had planned some early local league fixtures to give the boys some match experience but this was the real test. The first set went to Havering 25-19, and the second to SEEVIC with the same score line. Nerves really set in at this point as the winners of this tournament qualify for the National Finals, the losers get nothing!

SEEVIC set off well with some good serving and changed ends at 8-5. They then pulled a couple of strong attacks out of the bag and manage to hold on to a 4 point cushion to win the competition.

-4-

The girls competition was in December, hosted by West Anglia college and really was a bit of a one horse race! The competition was run as a round robin due to the low number of entries, but Essex was again well represented with teams from Colchester, SEEVIC and Havering. Havering, with their experienced league players, showed the rest of the teams how volleyball should be played!

They had some strong servers, (too strong for most of the teams), and some good hitters too. They dominated from the start, winning every game comfortably to take the East Region title.

So the men’ team from SEEVIC and the women’s team from Havering will travel to Loughborough in April, along with the winning teams in the 12 other sports, to compete in the National Finals. It is a fantastic weekend with thousands of students from across England and Wales fighting for National medals.

The weekend includes opening and closing ceremonies, social events both evenings as well as the competitions and is a really great experience. Best of luck to both teams, and lets hope that all these students that are playing volleyball in the county’s colleges don’t disappear off to University elsewhere, or worse still, stop playing all together once they leave college.

-5-

ESSEX VOLLEYBALL LOCAL & NVL TABLES 02/03

Men’s Division 1

P

Won

Lost

Set F

Set A

Default

Pts

Brentwood Wildthings

6

6

0

18

6

0

12

Tendring U18

4

3

1

10

3

0

6

Romford Rascals

3

1

2

5

6

0

2

Brentwood Woofs

2

0

2

0

6

0

0

Essex Uni

2

0

2

0

6

0

0

Redden Court

1

0

1

0

3

0

0

 

Men’s Division 2

P

Won

Lost

Set F

Set A

Default

Pts

Brentwood Buzzards

10

9

1

29

8

0

18

Comets 02

7

5

2

18

14

0

10

Romford Wildcards

7

5

2

16

11

0

10

Brentwood Youth

7

3

4

15

13

2

6

Harlow

4

3

1

11

6

0

6

Tendring Mixed

3

2

1

6

7

0

4

SEEVIC

5

1

4

8

13

0

2

Brentwood Rookies

8

1

7

3

21

1

0

Tendring U16

4

0

4

4

12

1

0

Exiles

3

0

3

4

9

0

0

D WON LOST FOR AGAINST DEFAULTS POINTST

LADIES DIVISION

P

Won

Lost

Set F

Set A

Default

Pts

Brentwood Divas

6

6

0

18

3

0

12

Essex University

5

4

1

14

6

0

8

Pumas

5

2

3

9

9

0

4

Tendring U18

5

2

3

6

13

0

4

Tendring U16

6

1

5

7

16

0

2

Romford Ravens

2

0

2

1

6

0

0

Brentwood Essex Girls

1

0

1

1

3

0

0

PLAYED WON LOST FOR AGAINST DEFAULTS POINTS

JANET BEDFORD CUP 2002/03

ROUND 1

BRENTWOOD DIVAS v TENDRING U18

PUMAS v BRENTWOOD ESSEX GIRLS

-6-

RUCANOR CUP/ TACHIKARA PLATE 2002/03

Round 1                                                             Round 2                                                             Round 3

BYE v TENDRING U18 TENDRING U18

v ?

TENDRING U16 v REDDON COURT ?

v

BRENTWOOD BUZZARDS bye BUZZARDS

v WOOFS

WOOFS v TENDRING MIXED WOOFS

BRENTWOOD ROOKIES bye BRENTWOOD ROOKIES

v

ROMFORD RASCALS bye ROMFORD RASCALS

WILDTHINGS v BRENTWOOD YOUTHS WILDTHINGS

v

HARLOW v EXILES ?

 

HANDICAP CUP 2002/03

Round 1 Round 2 Semi finals

TENDRING U16 v HARLOW

BRENTWOOD WILDTHINGS v ROMFORD RASCALS

ESSEX GIRLS v ROOKIES BRENTWOOD ESSEX GIRLS

v

WILDCARDS v WOOFS BRENTWOOD WOOFS

DIVAS v BRENTWOOD BUZZARDS

REDDEN COURT v TENDRING MIXED

BRENTWOOD YOUTH v TENDRING U18

EXILES bye EXILES

-7-

MENS DIVISION 2 (AS AT 24/01/03)

 

Played

Won

Lost

Sets For

Sets A

Pts

City of Salford VC1

10

9

1

29

11

28

Oxford Students

11

8

3

27

13

27

Loughborough Students

11

8

3

25

11

27

Milton Keynes

10

8

2

25

13

26

Leeds

11

7

4

26

28

25

Birmingham

11

7

4

25

17

25

Leicester

10

4

6

19

23

18

Essex Estonians

10

4

6

18

23

18

Luton Lions

10

3

7

14

26

16

Tonbridge

10

2

8

13

26

14

City of Salford 2

9

2

7

11

23

13

Telford

11

0

11

5

33

11

LADIES DIVISION 2 (AS AT 24/01/03)

 

Played

Won

Lost

Sets For

Sets A

Pts

Tameside

11

9

2

29

12

29

Polonia Ladies

11

7

4

24

18

25

City of Salford NW VC

10

7

3

24

11

24

Warwick Riga

10

7

3

24

15

24

T.H. Lynx

10

6

4

21

15

22

City of Wolverhampton

7

6

1

19

4

19

Cleobury

10

4

6

18

21

18

Shape Mavericks of M’bury

9

3

6

11

21

15

Oxford Students

11

2

9

8

29

15

Chelmsford Partners

8

3

5

11

16

14

Loughborough Students

10

2

8

9

26

14

Cambridge

9

2

7

12

22

13

MENS DIVISION 3 EAST (AS AT 24/01/03)

 

Played

Won

Lost

Sets For

Sets A

Pts

Brentwood

13

11

2

36

11

35

Danes

11

8

3

26

11

27

Cambridge

9

8

1

25

8

25

T. H. Lynx

11

7

4

28

14

25

Sussex

2

6

6

20

23

24

Guildford International 2

10

4

6

15

24

18

Chelmsford Partners

11

3

8

15

27

17

Warwick Riga 2

10

2

8

10

26

14

East Hants

11

0

11

2

33

11

Player of the Year

8 Fred Nal (Sussex)
7 James Phillips (Brentwood)
4 Stefan Hazell (Brentwood)

LADIES DIVISION 2 (AS AT 24/01/03)

 

Played

Won

Lost

Sets For

Sets A

Pts

Brentwood

10

8

2

25

14

26

Warwick 2

10

7

3

24

16

24

Ashcombe Dorking

8

5

3

19

12

18

Chiltern Ladies

8

3

5

15

18

14

Guildford International

8

3

5

14

18

14

UEA Norwich

8

2

6

11

20

12

East Hants

8

2

6

11

21

12

 

Player of the Year

7 Lorraine Bartlett (Brentwood)
4 Alena Nielson-Gee (Brentwood)
4 Rachel Osborne (Brentwood)

-8-

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R E G I S T E R E D

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-9-

Defensive Troubleshooting
by Aldis Berzins www.volleyballmag.com

Spectacular defence can get a lot of oohs and ahs out of a crowd. But what’s most important is that it can turn the momentum in your team’s favour. If it’s late in a match, and you dig a ball straight up that’s pounded by the opponent with nobody up, it can be the difference between winning and losing.

JAM THE JOUST

At times during the match, the ball hangs above the net in neutral territory. When two opposing players contact it at the same time, you have a situation called a joust. The player with the most aggressive attitude and the best leverage will win the ball. You want to prepare for the joust by jumping as high as you can and forcefully extending your arms across the net with locked elbows.  Have your full weight behind the ball. The situation you want to avoid is one in which the ball is pushed back onto your side of the net, and you end up falling backwards onto your backside like a knight knocked off a horse in real joust. Here both the Stanford and Penn State players are doing a great job preparing for the joust. They have their arms extended with locked elbows. It’s okay to reach with one arm as the Penn State player is doing here. Better one than none. Her best chance to win the joust is by pressing the ball into the block, feeling the blocker’s resistance and then throwing the ball off the blocker’s hands for a point. This is one of the few times in the game that you can actually grab or throw the ball without being called for a violation

REACH FOR THE SKY

A player’s spiking potential is often based on how tall they are or how high they jump. However, a much overlooked key to successful spiking is how high you extend your spiking arm when you contact the ball. If you’re a shorter, vertical-jump-challenged player, it’s important for you to learn to contact the ball at the peak of your jump with your spiking arm fully extended. Being tall and having the ability to sky doesn’t guarantee successful spiking if you don’t have a high contact point. Some taller players don’t fully extend their spiking arm and only contact the ball by their head. A shorter player can easily match their contact point by using maximum arm extension. To get maximum extension, drop your non-hitting shoulder like the spiker is doing in this picture. Work on staying behind the ball and contacting it when you’re at the peak of your jump.

-10-

HANDS UP

As a blocker, make sure you have your hands up high before the ball is served. If have you have your hands at your sides you might get beat by a quick set. Another less-touted reason to hold your hands up is so that you might "accidentally on purpose" obstruct the view of the passer. It’s illegal for blocker to move and intentionally screen a passer’s view, but you can get away with a little screening by just holding your hands up and leaning. Little tricks like this irritate your opponent, get their mind off passing, and just might lead to an ace.

EYES OPEN

All blockers have a tendency to shut their eyes as the ball is being hit. Try to keep your eyes open as long as possible. A spiker might change their shot to a dink at the moment your eyes close. If this happens, you’ll be late reacting to the ball. In this picture, U.S. blocker Tom Hoff has his eyes open and is tracking the ball intensely. That is part of the reason why he is about to roof the hitter.

HUDDLE ETIQUETTE

Sometimes during time outs, players daydream and don’t pay attention to their coach. If you value your playing time, avoid this behaviour at all costs. It’s important to make eye contact with your coach and nod your head in agreement to all coaching instructions. For the sake of team unity, don’t show signs of disagreement or argue if you disagree with your coach over game-time decisions.

Debate match tactics with your coach after the match or later in practice. Notice the way U.S. setter Lloy Ball is focused on Coach Doug Beal in the huddle. He is making good eye contact and standing in a posture that indicates he’s paying attention. Beal is definitely feeling like he is getting his message across to Ball. With this kind of behaviour, players and coaches can work together to determine a winning outcome.

-11-

VOLLEYBALL FROM THE WINDY CITY
Words James Murphy formerly Tigers

As a Brit living and working in Chicago, one of the things I was looking forward to most was getting onto a volleyball court.

Having found a place to live I then began investigating places to play. They have a somewhat different set-up for volleyball than in good old Essex. The first thing to get used to is the description of standards of play (see below).

AA      NVL 1/2              Very Competitive - top players with high level of experience
A         NVL 3/4              Competitive - skilled and experienced players
B         Local League 1/2 Intermediate - decent skills, players with experience
Rec     Local League 3/4 Recreational - less experienced players, more for fun

The second is they way they organize a number of their leagues. Many leagues are held at a single venue over the course of 8-10 weeks, with multiple "seasons" in what we would consider a single season.  Most "teams" don’t do any training. Players compete on multiple teams and many players are playing 3 or more times a week. Although skills levels are fairly high (most having learnt the skills at school) due to the factors above, tactics are often very simple.

I have been lucky to find a local gym that offers both a volleyball "clinic" and an "open gym" session. The volleyball clinic consists of one hour open play, one hour volleyball specific exercises and stretching, one hour of volleyball drills and finally one hour of open play, all for the princely sum of seven dollars (about five pounds). The open gym session I attend is a three hour session played in a hall with two courts and open to anyone who turns up. Generally there are forty-fifty people that turn up, around half that play at local league division 2/3 standard and the other half play NVL division 3/4 with a few people playing above and below these standards. It makes for an interesting evening of volleyball. The session cost two dollars (about one pound thirty)!

The other great thing despite the weather (or perhaps because of it) there are great indoor facilities and yes, believe it or not, indoor sand courts too. There are three facilities with indoor courts within sixty minutes drive of my house.

So if you are looking for volleyball in Chicago then there are plenty of options and opportunities.

-12-

Chelmsford delight fans with a win

Chelmsford women were made to work hard in their first home match of the season, but were rewarded by taking a strong attacking line in the closing points to defeat Polonia London in three close sets.

With several first choice players unavailable, Chelmsford recruited Nonie Day and Alison Cox to rejoin the side for this vital first home fixture. Having trained only once with the squad the previous Thursday, both players acquitted themselves with honour to help Partners to victory. Player coach Angela Hill was returned to her first choice position as setter opposite captain for the day Sally Morris with Simone Blackmore and birthday girl Janelle Catzim playing middle attack. Nonie Day and Alison Cox played in the main outside attacking role. First official for the game was Colombian international referee Maurice Villafave who is in England studying languages assisted by Ian Cheeseborough (Herts).

The match started slowly with both sides keeping the ball in play testing the opposition defences. Partners were able to pull out a small lead and with Day and Blackmore very strong in defence. Polonia time outs at 15-16 and 22-23 down did nothing to shake the solid play from Partners who took the first set 25-23 with a towering block from Cox and Blackmore at the net. In the next set Polonia threw caution to the winds and wound up the pace in both serve and attack. Chelmsford responded and it was Catzim and Blackmore through the middle that were the points winners as the Polonia team concentrated their blocking and attacking at the ends of the net. The teams were never more than a few points adrift, and it was often clever serving from Moore and Hill that were keeping Chelmsford in the hunt. At 21-21 it was anyone’s set as both defences were mopping up the attacking shots without either team able to consistently score. Again blocking broke the deadlock as Catzim and Day snuffed out a series of Polonia attacks and at 24-21 and set point, Partners looked in control of the set. A Polonia time out and extra effort saw them regain momentum and level the scores at 24-24 before a serving error gave Partners their fifth set point. Unable to convert again, the longest rally of the game ensued at the end of which the crowd were able to salute an athletic recovery shot by Catzim’s that forced a Polonia error. Partners made no mistake this time closing out 27-25 to go 2-0 up.

In the third set, Blackmore raised her game and led from the front blasting the ball away for Partners to take an early lead 11-7. Polonia continued to fight and in specialist back court libero player Cheynol had an excellent service receiver. But in rallies, she was matched by Cox and Moore whose court positioning allowed them to recover the now all out Polonia attacks. With Catzim blocking in the middle and Morris and Hill now able to vary their distribution of the ball, Partners were in an unstoppable groove. The visitors stayed in touch well but again at the death, it was the level and experienced heads of Chelmsford that saw them through at 25-23. A welcome 3-0 victory to start the home season and please the crowd.

Whilst the Polonia coach was asking his team to cut out unforced errors, in truth they had just met a better side on the day and in Blackmore a player hitting a rich vein of form. The officials’ selection of Blackmore as the Ken Pearce player of the match was well deserved and both teams also saluted Catzim with a verse of ‘Happy Birthday’ whilst relaxing over refreshments after the game. With the return of Heaton and Fryer, Chelmsford will be looking to retain this form on the weekend of 19th/20th October when they are at home to City of Wolverhampton and Cloebury Herefordshire.

Match start times are 12.45 at Anglia University Sporthall.

-13-

READERS LIVES

This is just a horrific photo and rumour has it, he went commando. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you James Phillips

Biggest mistake as a child: Asking my mum for a brother (Relax Simon!)

Have you met all of your childhood dreams: No, not represented the UK at the Olympics....yet!

Occupation: Claims Tecnician for a Credit Insurance Company

Could you bore people senseless at a dinner table: Hell yes, I could talk about my job, that would put asleep in about 8.7 seconds but I wouldn’t do that to anyone...rather get the table involved in a sneaky drinking game..(ask Tom Robinson, Tom Dean and Nick Davies - Poole 2001 & 2002 !!!!!!!!!)

Worst Habit: Untidy

What music would we find in your car: Some serious cheese! (Wham, Abba, Disco and 60’s classics)

Name your top five albums: Wham – The Final, Abba - Gold, Kool & The Gang - Celebration, Bon Jovi - Slippery When Wet, Frank Sinatra - My Way (awesome)

If you had to give a young relative a piece of advice, what would it be: Don’t start drinking games you can’t finish (again..Relax Simon....for all those that don’t know Simon likes to start drinking games but rarely sees the end as he is an absolute Flea weight!

Unfulfilled dreams?: To swim with a Great White Shark and a Blue Whale

You’re in a train compartment approaching a tunnel with Jeremy Clarkson, Paxman and Beadle. Absolutely sure you could get away with it, which one would you hit: Paxman

What would you be doing if you weren’t a volleyballer: WWF Pro Wrestler.....have you seen my Biceps!!!!!!

-14-

WHO’D BE A REFEREE?

More curious volleyball rules from the FIVB Casebook.

At the Women’s NORCECA Championships, the USA was playing a hard fought match with Canada. At the start of the fifth set, the American coach, Kent Miller, submitted his line up. The first referee signalled for the teams to enter the court. At the signal, the USA players took their positions on the court while the Canadian players were still gathered around their coach by the bench. The first referee signalled for the Canadian team to take the court. The Canadian coach apparently observed the USA players in their positions on the court, then submitted his line up to the second referee.

The first referee sanctioned the Canadian coach with a "delay warning". Coach Miller protested to the Control Committee that the Canadian Team should be sanctioned with "rude conduct" and the USA Team should be awarded a point. What should the correct ruling have been in this case?

The first referee made the initial error by directing the American team to take the court without having received the line up from the Canadian Coach. Once the American Team was on the court, the delay warning given by the first referee was probably correct. If on the other hand, it was clear that the Canadian Coach was taking advantage of the situation, the Control Committee should have ruled the rude conduct against the Canadian Coach and awarded the USA Team the serve and the point.

At the Women’s World Cup China was playing Korea. In the third set, the Chinese coach, Lang Ping, pushed the buzzer and signalled for a time out. The second referee instinctively blew his whistle but then recognized that the Chinese team had already used its final time out. He then "waved" for the teams to remain on the court and did not sanction China with an "improper request" because the delay was slight. At that moment, the Chinese coach then signalled with her hands that she desired to make a substitution. The second referee then waved the substitute away as an "improper request" and the game continued. Was the second referee correct in his handling of the situation?

The second referee was correct. The situation is complex because the rules allow the coach and referee some judgment in this situation and the judgment of the first referee is final. The complications begin when the second referee blew his whistle at the sound of the buzzer. He should have known that the Chinese team had no more time outs. Since there was a small delay and the time to register a delay on the scoresheet is often longer than the action being penalized, the second referee probably showed good judgment in hastening the game to continue. Concerning the request for substitution, the referee reasoned that since the time to request the substitution was gained by an improper request, the substitution should not be allowed. This decision was supported by the Control Committee. Rules 16.6, 17.1, 17.2

-15-

MENTAL BLOCKS
Words CC Sandorfi www.volleyballblagmag.com

Among all the frustrating volleyball scenarios, perhaps none is worse than having a hitter get the ball by you again... and again... and again. It can get so bad that you feel that what you’re doing isn’t blocking but simply getting extra jumping practice.

If that sounds familiar, believe it or not, there is hope. While it’s true that blocking is somewhat helped by height, arm length and vertical leap, technique and smarts also play a big role. Here are a few tips on how to block almost any hitter in almost any situation.

CREATE A GOOD SEAL WITH THE NET

One key to successful blocking is to build a solid barrier that extends over the net - even if it just means getting your hands across the net. As you reach over, there should be as little space as possible between your arms and the top of the net. If you can create a tight "seal" with the net without touching it, you’ll make it impossible for the hitter to bang a ball off your hands and force it to dribble down your body on your side of the net. To create a seal, remember to achieve full extension of your arms (elbows locked, shoulders shrugged, head down with eyes up) and reach over the net as far as you can. Even if you only get your wrists and hands over the net, it’s better to create a seal than to make your hands a flat up-and-down wall.

THINK ‘SHIELD’ NOT ‘WEAPON’

While technically a block is a defensive weapon, it helps to think of the blocking action as a shield or a force field against a hitter, not an offensive manoeuvre. Many people try to attack the ball when they block, slapping at their opponent’s hit as it crosses the net. This can produce an undesirable result: it unseals the top of the net; it’s a low-percentage opportunity because you have to time your slap exactly right to reject your opponent’s hit; you can’t guide the ball where you want it upon contact; and it’s very difficult for your team mates to line up for defence behind you. So, instead, think of yourself as an impenetrable wall or force field. You’re an immovable object set in place to repel the force of the ball. Extend far over the net, hold that block as long as possible, and try to line yourself up so the ball rebounds off your wall

-16-

GET YOUR SPACING RIGHT

Different players have different preferences about how wide they’ll spread their arms during a block. This also varies from a single block to a double block. In a double, the width is generally less than with a single block. Assuming you’re solo blocking, keep your hands about a ball-width apart, with your fingers splayed and rigid to create the most surface area. Your thumbs shouldn’t touch.

If they do, your hands are too close together. A comfortable distance might be four to six inches between your thumbs if you have small hands, and a little wider if you have big hands. If your hands are too close together, you’re not taking away enough space from your opponent. If your hands are too far apart, you’re inviting your opponent to score a field goal by blasting the ball through the opening. This is a matter of adjustment, and it’s often helpful to ask your coach or team mates for feedback on your positioning.

WATCH BOTH THE SETTER & HITTER

Many blockers make the mistake of watching only the hitter, but the set can tell you much more about what kind of attack is coming. Is the ball far off the net? That means the hitter probably can’t hit straight down and will have a slightly slower/delayed approach, since he’ll most likely have to adjust his footwork. This means you need to begin your block jump a bit later and reach high. Is the set close to the net? By all means, make sure you get maximum penetration. A low set? Get ready to jump sooner. Naturally, the hitter can also give you information. Watch the angle of his approach. This can tell you where to line up as he begins his hitting motions. Watch his shoulder and upper body. Is there a lot of rotation? He may be preparing to hit across his body. Does his shoulder or elbow drop? A shot might be coming. Learning to read these clues can make your blocking decision a whole lot easier.

FINAL THOUGHTS

Sometimes, no matter what you do, there’ll be a hitter who seems unblockable. if you’re facing a 6-9 hitter and you’re 5-8, it’s possible that despite your best intentions, form, and attention to detail, he’ll still hit over you. But the tips above should help you match up better for most game situations.

-17-

IF THERE WAS A SANTA

There are approximately two billion children (persons under 18) in the world. However Jewish or Buddhist (except maybe in Japan) religions, this reduces the workload for Christmas night to 15% of the total, or 378 million (according to the population reference bureau). At an average (census) rate of 3.5 children per household, that comes to 108 million homes, presuming there is at least one good child in each.

Santa has about 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming east to west (which seems logical). This works out to 967.7 visits per second. This is to say that for each Christian household with a good child, Santa has around 1/1000th of a second to park his sleigh, hop out, jump down the chimney, fill the stocking, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left for him, get back up the chimney, jump into the sleigh and get onto the next house. Assuming that each of these 108 million stops is evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course, we know to be false, but will accept for the purposes of our calculations), we are now talking about 0.78 miles per household; a total trip of 75.5 million miles, not counting bathroom stops or breaks. This means that Santa’s sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second, 3000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man made vehicle, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles per second, and a conventional reindeer can run (at best) 15 miles per hour!.

The payload of the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium sized LEGO set (two pounds), the sleigh is carrying over 500 thousand tons, not counting Santa himself. On land, a conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting that the "flying" reindeer can pull 10 times the normal amount, the job can’t be done with eight or even nine of them—Santa would need 360,000 of them. This increases the payload, not counting the weight of the sleigh, another 54,000 tons, or roughly seven times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth (the ship not the monarch). 600,000 tons travelling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air resistance - this would heat up the reindeer in the same fashion as a spacecraft re-entering the earth’s atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer would absorb 14.3 quintillion joules of energy per second each. In short they would burst into flames almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them and creating deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire reindeer team would be vaporised within 4.26 thousandths of a second, or right about the same time that Santa reached the fifth house on his trip.

Not that it matters, however, since Santa, as a result of accelerating from a dead stop to 650mps in 0.001 seconds, would be subjected to acceleration forces of 17,000 g’s. A 250 pound Santa (which seems ludicrously slim) would be pinned to the back of the sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force, instantly crushing his bones and organs and reducing him to a quivering blob of pink goo.

Therefore, if Santa did exist, he’s dead now. Merry Christmas.

-18-

CONTRIBUTORS

Very, many thanks to all those who took the time to contribute this quarter. They include: Ian Johnston James Murphy Lee Gradon Ken Edwards James Phillips .....and finally....

These are taken from original Rainbow scripts. There’s no way these could have been done by accident. The sketch opens with Zippy peeling a banana...

Zippy: "One skin, two skin, three skin, four..."
George: "- Zippy, where is Bungle?"
Zippy: I think Geoffrey is trying to get him up"
We see a view of the door and hear Bungle moaning from behind it.
Bungle: "Geoffrey, I can’t get it in"
Geoffrey: "You managed it last night"
Bungle: "I know, lets try it round the Otherway. Ooooooh, I’ve got it in"
Bungle and Geoffrey enter the studio with Bungle carrying a hammer and peg kit
Bungle: "Would you stick this on the shelf, George"
George: "I can’t reach, you’ll have to stick it up yourself, Bungle."
Geoffrey (to camera): "Hello everyone, today we are talking about playing"
Bungle: "Playing with each other, Geoffrey?"
Geoffrey: "Yes Bungle, do you have a special friend that you like to play with?"
George: "Yesterday we played with each other’s balls. Are we going to play with our friend’s balls today?"
Bungle: "Yes, and we can play with our twangers as well."
Geoffrey (to camera): "Have you seen Bungles twanger?"
Zippy: "Oh I have, I showed him how to pluck with it."
Bungle: "It’s my plucking instrument."
Geoffrey asks the audience if they can pluck like Bungle
Zippy: "I can, I’m the best plucker here."
George: "And I’m good at banging. My peg’s hard isn’t it Zippy?
Zippy:" Well of course it is, your peg wouldn’t go in if it was soft."
Geoffrey: "Let’s get back to Bungle’s twanger."
Bungle (excited): "Oooooh Geoffrey, we could all play with our twangers couldn’t we? Let’s play the plucking
song. Rod and Roger can get their instruments out and Jane has got two lovely Maracas."
Singers Rod, Jane and Freddy enter.
Freddy: "We could hear you all banging away"
Rod: "Banging can be fun."
Jane: "Ooooh yes, and I was banging away all last night with Rod and Freddy."
Freddy (looking sad): "Yes, but it broke my plucking instrument."
Rod (to Jane): "Do you want to blow on my pipe while I’m twanging away?"
Jane: "Oh no, I was banging away with Freddy last night. But would you like to play with my maracas?
Zippy: "No, let’s just pluck away with our twangers."
Geoffrey (to viewers): " We know a song about that, don’t we. Well, have you got your twangers out? and remember, you can bang your balls at the same time. If you haven’t got any, ask a friend if you can play with his. Now, let’s all play the plucking song."

Everyone in studio: " Pluck, pluck, pluck along, we’re going to pluck all day."